Grief is Love

Three years ago, I would have used the following words to define “grief:” physical and emotional pain, suffering, anguish, cruelty, punishment, abandonment, loss of self, guilt, misery, and loneliness. I experienced all of these, and I saw no way to survive them or to become whole again. I found the same to be true ofContinue reading “Grief is Love”

Widower: How Grief Changes Us

Grief, really deep grief, can change you!  I see examples of this change through my men’s grief group, responses to my online blogs, online widowers groups, and chance meetings I have with fellow widowers in my community.  This change does not happen overnight, it can take months if not years to happen.  Many are shockedContinue reading “Widower: How Grief Changes Us”

Widower: Experiences All the Same??

WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby  One thing I have learned since my wife passed over three years ago, is that much in my experience has common elements with that of other widowers, but we each also have some very unique components in our individual journeys. Discovering our common elements provides comfort and encouragementContinue reading “Widower: Experiences All the Same??”

Widower: Financial Land Mines

My father died when he was 33 years of age, so I realized the importance of getting my finances in order while still young. I bought life insurance, started an IRA investment account, wrote a will, and made sure that my wife was the primary beneficiary.  During one period (2008 – 2012) I was sureContinue reading “Widower: Financial Land Mines”

Widower: Anger – Fight It or Accept It?

Shortly after my wife’s death, I went to the mountains by myself for a week and screamed as loud and often as I wanted to. But now, 3 ½ years later, I no longer feel the intensity of anger I felt then. I soon forget how easy it was to cut myself off from othersContinue reading “Widower: Anger – Fight It or Accept It?”

Widower: Avoiding Downward Spirals

Grief can pummel you physically, emotionally, and mentally in ways that make you feel as if you will never be able to live a normal life again. The physical pain can drive you to your knees. At times you may just sit on the stairs and sob. Mentally, you can find yourself incapable of processingContinue reading “Widower: Avoiding Downward Spirals”

Widower: Grieving Can Weaken or Strengthen Your Family

As I sank into deep grieving after my wife’s death, I became increasingly concerned about my sanity and ability to make sound decisions. At times the world around me seemed surreal, my short and long term memory became suspect, and I often just wanted to shut the door on everyone and just hide in myContinue reading “Widower: Grieving Can Weaken or Strengthen Your Family”