Author: Dr. Nyle Kardatzke

  • Cooking

    During my married life, there were periods of several years when I did more cooking than my wife, though she was a good cook. Her professional life kept her away from home for many evenings, so I cooked. I enjoyed cooking, and I was reasonably good at it. We enjoyed our quiet meals together at […]

  • Laundry

    With the holidays behind us, we widow-men may feel relieved to return to the mundane duties of normal life. If you had house guests, you may still have a backlog of laundry. “Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.” Burt Reynolds A lady friend told me about […]

  • Christmas

    Holidays are an especially hard time for those who are grieving, and Christmas may be the hardest for those who especially love it. My wife died on October 25, 2010, so Christmas came two months after her death. My three adult children were coming for the holiday with the four young grandchildren we had then, […]

  • Forgiveness

    In the old movie, “Love Story,” the lead character says, “Being in love means never needing to say you’re sorry.” In fact, loving another person means often saying you’re sorry unless you are such a perfect person that you never blunder into a thoughtless talk or fail to show sympathy and support when you should. […]

  • Fear

    I was surprised to find myself fearing some things that I hadn’t feared before, or hadn’t feared as much before she died. When I knew I would be alone in the house for the first time after her death, I was afraid of what my emotional reaction might be. I asked my son and his […]

  • Emotions

    Quotation: “You won’t always feel the way you do now.” – C.S. Lewis Emotions sometimes seem more real than reality itself. In a time of grief and loss, our emotions are deeper and stronger than at any other time. We feel that we may burst into tears or maybe even collapse because of these feelings […]

  • Alone Again

    When my wife died, one of the first things I noticed was the silence. Now there was only silence where she once had been. I especially longed to hear her voice; I still do. The house suddenly seemed large and hollow. Soon after she died, my mind raced back to the days just before I […]

  • From Mourning to Grief

    Scripture tells us to mourn with those who mourn; it does not say to grieve with those who grieve – but we should. Mourning and grief are not the same. Mourning has a beginning and a distinct end, but grief goes on much longer. Mourning is made up of rituals and procedures that immediately follow […]

  • Why Widowed Men Are Different from Widows

    We widowed men have much in common with widows, our sisters in grief. Like widows, we have lost our spouses, the loves of our lives. They have had experiences of loss like ours: shock, disorientation, grief, and loneliness. We have much in common with female widows, and we can be more empathetic now. But our […]

  • I Am A Widow-man

    When I became a widowed man, I wondered what to call myself. “Widow” is usually applied only to women, but why can’t a man be a widow? Why accept the implied accusation when you are called a “widower?” Long before I lost my wife, I rankled quietly at the term “widower,” and it still sounds […]