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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
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Laundry
With the holidays behind us, we widow-men may feel relieved to return to the mundane duties of normal life. If you had house guests, you may still have a backlog of laundry. “Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.” Burt Reynolds A lady friend told me about…
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Winning Thursday Thoughts from Jim Winner
____________________________________________ Today marks day 214 since my Joyce died. Even though she was sick for seven months, and we knew for a month, she was going to lose her battle with cancer, I had no idea of what real grief would be like. For the first three months, I seriously questioned not how I would…
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Reinventing Yourself to Live Again
WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby When Theresa, my wife of 45 years, passed just before midnight on June 29, 2015, I lost three of the four legs that formed the foundation of my life: my wife, family, job, and faith. Only my family remained, while my faith was in crisis. To add to…
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A New Year – the promise of a New You!
The passage of time does not always bring with it an anticipation of a “new tomorrow.” Somewhere deep within, I know, “Out with the Old and In with the New” is an adage that is only partially true. Some parts of me have left me forever only in a physical and tangible sense; I still…
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Christmas
Holidays are an especially hard time for those who are grieving, and Christmas may be the hardest for those who especially love it. My wife died on October 25, 2010, so Christmas came two months after her death. My three adult children were coming for the holiday with the four young grandchildren we had then,…
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Why Christmas means even more to me as a widow
It’s the most wonderful time of the year…and the most painful, nostalgic, nightmarish time of the year now that my husband is gone. Our hearts and home scream for the void we feel. A voice that once boomed through our home at Christmas as we gathered around the piano is forever silent. The man of…
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Let’s Heal Now!
Widower to Widower with Fred Colby If you are going to survive this hell-on-earth experience and if you want to heal, you are going to have to grow as a father, brother, son, friend, and community member. If you retreat from the world to stew in your grief and anger, that is likely where you…
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Forgiveness
In the old movie, “Love Story,” the lead character says, “Being in love means never needing to say you’re sorry.” In fact, loving another person means often saying you’re sorry unless you are such a perfect person that you never blunder into a thoughtless talk or fail to show sympathy and support when you should.…
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Dealing with the feelings that come up around the holidays
All those feelings that come up around the holidays As the holidays approach, I start hearing from folks in my widowhood community. They talk about the variety of feelings the season is bringing up for them. A widower, with sadness and confusion in his voice, tells me that the holidays were always “her thing”. She…
Widowers Support Network 