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What is Love Now?
When we were young, we often confused physical attraction and sex with love. I know that during my teens, I would fall in love with a new girl almost every month. As soon as I saw a new pretty face I was head over heels again even though I was still in a relationship with…
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First Ever-Date? Girlfriend? or Lover?
Was your wife the first woman/girl you ever: Either directly (through my website or Facebook page) or indirectly (through Widowers Support Network), I frequently hear from others who experienced one of these “firsts” with their wives. And I have often wondered how that might impact the grief journey for these brothers in grief. While that…
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Tips for People Dating Widows and Widowers
My five Personal Pointers for dating someone who lost their spouse. In previous articles, I have explained my belief that love is an infinite resource and has the ability to multiply again and again. For example, when a widow/widower is ready, they will expand their ability to love, and without guilt, they will be able…
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God, Football, Sex and Gold-diggers
by Fred Colby Admit it! How often have even the most devout of us chosen to attend a football game (or other favorite sport or activity) instead of church? Or instead of spending time with your family? Or instead of honoring a previous commitment to a friend? If you are a churchgoer, you might be…
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“I’ll be Looking for You”
Shortly before my wife Darlene died in October 2010, we were talking after our final visit with her oncologist. This is how I described it later. On our drive home, we had one of the more significant conversations of our lives. We probably talked about small matters and medical decisions part of the way home,…
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Finding the Courage to Love Again
Dear brothers, like many of you, I celebrated that we have reached the 1900-member mark in the Widowers Support Network. Wow, we have come a long way. Upon reading that news, the fact that this also represents 1900 broken hearts, countless tears, and dreams unrealized. As I sit down to exercise the privilege of deciding…
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The World after You and Me
Question to Consider: What will the world be like after I’m gone? A History Channel program would showdetails of the likely events on earth if humans were to disappear suddenly. The program starts with the lives of the surviving animals and plants. It moves on to the breakdown of power plants and water supplies and…
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Remarriage
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing.” Proverbs 18:22 You may have seen good, happy remarriages, and you may have seen disasters. Remarriage calls for wisdom and self-knowledge. There may be joy and companionship ahead, but proceed with caution. Research shows that widow-men remarry more often and more quickly than widows. Some of…
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Widower Wearing Wedding Ring Sparks Huge Discussion
Recently I was asked to contribute to a discussion on this topic that attracted over 4,500 online comments. The topic was launched by a woman who confronted a widower about his wearing a wedding band eight months after his wife passed. The following article was featured on Bored Panda, an international online publication. Woman Confused…
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NEW YEAR – NEW RELATIONSHIPS?
While being prepped for an emergency hernia operation four months after my wife’s death, I instructed the doctors three times that I wanted a “Do Not Resuscitate” order in place. I saw this as an opportunity to rejoin my wonderful wife of 45 years. Many hours later ― I woke up! The immediate question that…