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QUICK HITTERS # 10
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions author Fred Colby posed to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #10: I am thinking about traveling again, but by myself now. This is kind of scary. What tips can…
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Moving Forward or Moving On?
Is there a difference? One just sounds like it has a negative connotation attached to it. Moving forward sounds like a step in the right direction whereas ‘moving on’ sounds like you are done with the past, you are done grieving, and you are ready to ‘forget’. But, is there really a difference? Is forgetting…
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Don’t Stop Living Because I Died.
In about two months, I will approach the fourth anniversary of my wife’s death. As I reflect on her passing again, I am reminded of a conversation she and I had about six months before she died. I remember one night feeling so low that I said to my wife I want to go with…
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What Can Matt & Ben Teach Widowers?
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck seem unlikely to be the pair that will teach widowers how to heal and regain purpose and joy in their lives. But in fact, they are an excellent example for us to follow. As I have mentioned before, when a husband dies, his wife will likely be surrounded by her…
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There is No Timeline for Grief
I was sitting in an airport the other evening waiting for my flight home. I had a wonderful visit with my children and grandchildren and thought about the fun and laughs we shared for several days. As it often happens, a story about grief will pop up on my phone as I write about it…
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YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!
Remember when you were young, married, and full of misconceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband, you were the “boss” in the family! Ha…Ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! We often learned that making solo decisions…
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No More Dreams
I think I saw a miracle… alive and walking free ~ My heat wants to believe it’s true; but, it can’t really ‘be’; Yet, at the time, it seemed so real… and I could see your ‘smile’ – and then I worke and knew that I had dreamed it all the while. I tried so…
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It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year unless you are Dealing with Loss
Step into your car, turn the radio on, and I almost guarantee every station is playing holiday music. Walk into a grocery store, a shopping mall, Home Depot, fast food places, and most banks or even the post office, and you will hear holiday songs filling the air. I chose the Andy Williams song for…
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Angry and Grateful At the Same Time?
Just try to be angry and grateful at the same time. Hard, isn’t it? It isn’t easy because focusing on one interferes with your ability to do the other. Once we get past the numbness after our wife passes, we usually sink into a period of deep grieving that may last months or even years.…
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LOVE HURTS
Most of us over 50 remember the popular song, Love Hurts, written by Boudleaux Bryant and sung by Roy Orbison, Nazareth, Everly Brothers, and many others. The first lyrics, though written for the pain of young love, apply equally to the pain we feel when our wives pass: Love hurtsLove scarsLove wounds and marksAny…
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