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Perspective
Our journey after loss consists of many trials, revelations, and missteps throughout life’s evolution. Once the reality of our new life settles in, perspective becomes our great friend. Fifteen years after Dana died, I lost my high-powered grocery executive career, which led to eventual financial ruin. For so many years, my job was my identity.…
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The Billiard Table
So many of us have commented on this site about how often triggers hijack us. I’m no different in that regard. I get hit up all the time. Having lived 39 years in the same neighborhood and township, I am constantly reminded of my life with my beloved Jan almost everywhere I go. I am…
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Bereavement Scams
We have all heard about scams. Even the smartest and sharpest among us can fall victim to a scam. I have personally known several close friends who you would think knew better but ended up in a scam situation. I honestly saw red flags when they shared information about their “new love interest.” It all…
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Life Is Best When Lived In Pencil – Part 4
I just got home from church. A wonderful message was presented by the minister today centered on the fact that even if life doesn’t take you where you think it will, you’ll still be OK. He told us that life can still be good even when our plans get changed, our dreams get dashed and…
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The Human Body Has A Mind Of Its Own
Grief is a powerful emotion that alters the chemical balance in your body; sudden loss (an unplanned, prolonged separation) triggers a cascade of changes that lead to depression. Research has shown that a brain chemical known as “corticotropin-releasing factor,” a neurotransmitter released as a stress response, was elevated in persons who had experienced the sudden…
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Giving up the darkness in my life
A few days ago, I had a conversation with my grief counselor, who also happens to be an Episcopal priest. Father Joe, as he is affectionately known, has an abundance of wisdom combined with immeasurable compassion and a keen sense of understanding the human spirit. I told him I knew this was his “busy season”…
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Life is Best When Lived in Pencil – Part 3
My last blog talked about self-care and looking out for number 1 (us!). I want to dig into that a little deeper today. To me, the most critical component of self-care is recognizing and embracing our inner truth. My inner truth is a feeling deep in my core. It’s the “ thing” that can keep…
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ACCEPTING LIFE AS A WIDOWER: THE 30 MONTH MARK
I lost my wife Mary in January 2020. At the time I didn’t know how I’d move forward. My journey continues, on a road paved by acceptance. January 2020 was when my beloved wife, friend, soulmate, and rock of 33 years, Mary, passed away after a brave fight against cancer. PERSONAL COMMUNITY After Mary’s death,…
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The View from the Other Side of the Mirror
First, Happy New Year, Brothers. Many of you have just experienced the first holiday season without your loved one; for others, welcome to January. For many, the start of the new year serves as a time to set new goals or make new resolutions. I have taken this time to take a clear look at…
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Game Plan…for a Better Tomorrow
The end of the year can be a tricky time for many people. The current state you are in may, at times, give way to the propensity to judge your entire existence by your present circumstances. Among the many teachings, I have been affected by is Dr. Eric Stoltz’s teaching “The Adversity Quotient.” When I…
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