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Father’s Day Message for Children of Widowers
If your dad is a recent widower, there are ways you can help him on Father’s Day while also strengthening your family relationships. To ignore Father’s Day can be a missed opportunity and even a mistake that injects another layer of separation between the father and children. Based on my own experience, I can tell…
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Iam Tongi, Monsters, and Fatherhood
Why am I feeling so emotional? I am watching a video of Iam Tongi’s duet with James Blunt from American Idol, singing Blunt’s song “Monsters.” Watching it live brought me to tears along with everyone else . . . and it is bringing me to tears again. Three months ago, I never knew of English…
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SHOULD A WIDOW(ER) PAY FOR THEIR CHILD’S WEDDING?
WITH THE AVERAGE COST OF A WEDDING HOVERING AT $60,000, HOW MUCH AM I EXPECTED TO CONTRIBUTE? My two boys found love and are getting married. As a widower, I’m both happy and sad and wondering about the price tag. I’m going to be Father of the Groom at… not one, but two… weddings. My…
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ACCEPTING LIFE AS A WIDOWER: THE 30 MONTH MARK
I lost my wife Mary in January 2020. At the time I didn’t know how I’d move forward. My journey continues, on a road paved by acceptance. January 2020 was when my beloved wife, friend, soulmate, and rock of 33 years, Mary, passed away after a brave fight against cancer. PERSONAL COMMUNITY After Mary’s death,…
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WHEN KIDS GRIEVE
Helping a child cope with a loss due to death can be fundamental in helping them deal with loss of any kind the rest of their life. However, I found it to be a new experience and a hard one. The day my first wife, Ruth, died I had 4 children at home ranging from…
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It’s the Holiday Season, and Grief doesn’t take a break
Yes, it is that time of the year again. It’s when family and friends gather to celebrate the special days: Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa, punctuated by office parties, friends gathering to share a meal, some drinks, and a bunch of laughs and lots of good times. They are described in word and song as…
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Surviving the Holidays
Many will tell you that within a week of your wife’s passing, you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days. Your reaction will depend on how important and memorable each of those days was for you and…
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Photographs
Recently while driving, I heard the song Photograph by Ringo Starr. As Ringo stated many years ago, he and George Harrison wrote that song together, but it took on a new meaning for Ringo after George’s death from cancer. As I listened to the song’s words, I heard that haunting line, “All I’ve got is…
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Courage at the Crossroads
My dear brothers, recently, I found myself experiencing another visit to an all too familiar place, “the crossroads.” First, let me give you a little background about how I choose to navigate life. I strongly believe in the practice of dividing my life into three distinct silos, my personal life, my spiritual life, and my…
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Tips for People Dating Widows and Widowers
My five Personal Pointers for dating someone who lost their spouse. In previous articles, I have explained my belief that love is an infinite resource and has the ability to multiply again and again. For example, when a widow/widower is ready, they will expand their ability to love, and without guilt, they will be able…
Widowers Support Network 