-
Photographs
Recently while driving, I heard the song Photograph by Ringo Starr. As Ringo stated many years ago, he and George Harrison wrote that song together, but it took on a new meaning for Ringo after George’s death from cancer. As I listened to the song’s words, I heard that haunting line, “All I’ve got is…
-
Tired of being alone? Maybe it’s time to try dating again.
Whether you’re a divorcee, a widowed man, have never married or even been in a committed relationship, you may someday tire of being alone. I completely understand. You see, I have been in your shoes as have millions of other men. As a result, there are many lessons and best practices for you to go…
-
The Billiard Table
So many of us have commented on this site about how often triggers hijack us. I’m no different in that regard. I get hit up all the time. Having lived 39 years in the same neighborhood and township, I am constantly reminded of my life with my beloved Jan almost everywhere I go. I am…
-
Father’s Day Message for Children of Widowers
If your dad is a recent widower, there are ways you can help him on Father’s Day while also strengthening your family relationships. To ignore Father’s Day can be a missed opportunity and even a mistake that injects another layer of separation between the father and children. Based on my own experience, I can tell…
-
Iam Tongi, Monsters, and Fatherhood
Why am I feeling so emotional? I am watching a video of Iam Tongi’s duet with James Blunt from American Idol, singing Blunt’s song “Monsters.” Watching it live brought me to tears along with everyone else . . . and it is bringing me to tears again. Three months ago, I never knew of English…
-
I feel helpless; how do I help my friend who is grieving?
Recently I spoke with a group of people about grief and grieving, and one person asked me a question I offer as my title for the column I am writing this week. A young man said he felt sad for his friend who lost his mother and did not know what to do or say.…
-
I’ll See You On the Windward Side of the Mountain!
“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.” We all know that a mountain is the highest landform on the earth’s surface, and valleys are the low-lying regions between two mountains. Valleys are formed on either side of the mountain and are topographically contrasting. As the winds flow towards the mountain,…
-
Isolation Kills, Stay Connected
Jasmine was first admitted to the hospital at the height of the COVID pandemic and placed in isolation, which meant no visitors allowed. I had been recovering at home from my bout with COVID. Four days later, I drove an hour to the hospital to be re-examined (I had COVID pneumonia). After my exam, I requested permission…
-
Grow, Process and Grieve
I’ve been widowed for over 30 years. What shocked me was how ignorant the older generations were toward me. As a young adult, I assumed that those considerably older than me had the experience and maturity to handle life’s difficult situations. I quickly learned this was not the case at all. Losing my soul mate…
-
Does time really heal all wounds?
As a child, I remember the first time I went to a wake service with my mother for a neighbor who had passed away. I remember being so frightened as I walked into the funeral chapel. I vividly recall so many people crying and feeling as though I would somehow get swallowed up by the…
-
Avoiding Downward Spirals
Grief can pummel you physically, emotionally, and mentally in ways that make you feel you will never be able to live a normal life again. Physical pain can drive you to your knees. At times you may sit on the stairs and sob. Mentally, you can find yourself incapable of processing the simplest thoughts. Often,…
-
Our Healing Community
I’ve been writing lately about my grief support group. I’ve been playing the role of “player-coach.” Having never been a part of a support group before, it has been an enlightening experience. I’m sure I’m not alone in the support group world of being both a participant and facilitating a group at the same time,…
Widowers Support Network 