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Photographs
Recently while driving, I heard the song Photograph by Ringo Starr. As Ringo stated many years ago, he and George Harrison wrote that song together, but it took on a new meaning for Ringo after George’s death from cancer. As I listened to the song’s words, I heard that haunting line, “All I’ve got is […]
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Tired of being alone? Maybe it’s time to try dating again.
Whether you’re a divorcee, a widowed man, have never married or even been in a committed relationship, you may someday tire of being alone. I completely understand. You see, I have been in your shoes as have millions of other men. As a result, there are many lessons and best practices for you to go […]
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Taking Stock in 2023
January 25th marked the seventeenth month since my wife of 51 years transitioned to the Other Side. I recently reviewed what I have gone through during that time—what has worked for me and what has not. I should say at the outset that I am in a much better place than I was a year […]
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SHOULD A WIDOW(ER) PAY FOR THEIR CHILD’S WEDDING?
WITH THE AVERAGE COST OF A WEDDING HOVERING AT $60,000, HOW MUCH AM I EXPECTED TO CONTRIBUTE? My two boys found love and are getting married. As a widower, I’m both happy and sad and wondering about the price tag. I’m going to be Father of the Groom at… not one, but two… weddings. My […]
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Life is like riding a bicycle; to keep your balance; you must keep moving” – Albert Einstein
Over 93 years ago, Albert Einstein wrote a letter to his son to encourage him never to give up. I don’t know what the circumstances of the letter involved, but I know Einstein, the physicist used an image that his son could easily relate to a bicycle. Momentum, along with a rider’s balance, helps keep […]
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Bonds That Are Never Broken
During a recent conversation with a widowed friend, I reflected on some of the unexpected roles we may inherit upon becoming widowers. One of which I hold especially dear is being the curator of my wife Robyn’s and my love. Often, we are accused of deifying our loved ones after their death. In many cases, […]
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ACCEPTING LIFE AS A WIDOWER: THE 30 MONTH MARK
I lost my wife Mary in January 2020. At the time I didn’t know how I’d move forward. My journey continues, on a road paved by acceptance. January 2020 was when my beloved wife, friend, soulmate, and rock of 33 years, Mary, passed away after a brave fight against cancer. PERSONAL COMMUNITY After Mary’s death, […]
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Life is Best When Lived In Pencil – Part 2
Change, change, change. The only constant seems to be change. In a recent column, I shared that I am considering moving back to the area where I was raised. That’s a huge change for me. That’s getting out the pencil and erasing some plans that had previously been considered to be permanent. It’s good, though, […]
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What is Love Now?
When we were young, we often confused physical attraction and sex with love. I know that during my teens, I would fall in love with a new girl almost every month. As soon as I saw a new pretty face I was head over heels again even though I was still in a relationship with […]
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A Fourth Way to Raise Your Hand to God
In my previous post, I discussed three ways to raise your hand to God when going through painful circumstances, such as losing your wife: I admit I may have done the first; I am sure I have done the second. However, as I walked through the painful process of accepting the reality of losing my […]
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Knowing That You Care
I had a delightful surprise yesterday. The hospice where I volunteer as a minister to men who are caregivers and widowers asked me to co-facilitate a grief support group they had recently formed after over a year of not providing one. The first of eight meetings was yesterday. There were 22 attendees, plus the facilitator […]
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WHEN KIDS GRIEVE
Helping a child cope with a loss due to death can be fundamental in helping them deal with loss of any kind the rest of their life. However, I found it to be a new experience and a hard one. The day my first wife, Ruth, died I had 4 children at home ranging from […]