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Why I Still Love My Life
Recently I received the gift of a significant breakthrough in my life. But first, a little background. Fifty-two months ago, on a cold February morning, I was driving to the hospital, suitcase in tow to bring my wife home from another incident avoided. You see, I was very used to adjusting our routine with a…
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Life 2.0
Recently I viewed an interview with author and political pundit David Brooks. During this interview, he was reflecting on a shift in his thinking when it came to his priorities in life. He termed this new way of thinking as his “second mountain.” In many ways, many of us who have lost a spouse or…
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Widower: Healthy vs. Unhealthy Grief
If you love someone and you lose them, you are going to grieve… there is no getting around it! But, is there a way to grieve that is healthy for you? Or a way that is unhealthy? Based on my own experience and what I have heard from hundreds of widower, the answer is a…
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MOVING FORWARD
MOVING FORWARD When widows and widowers try to move forward with life, a multitude of feelings can suddenly make themselves known. These feelings vary a lot, depending on personality and situation. Here are some examples. See if any of these apply to you. Completely stuck. You have the best intentions, but repeatedly find yourself stuck.…
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Widower 101: More Key Learnings
Recently I shared four things that I have learned since becoming a widower. In this article, I would like to continue to share a few additional thoughts on this issue. For each one of us, this list may be different. As I write in my book The First 365, a loss is the ultimate designer…
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Grief is Love
Three years ago, I would have used the following words to define “grief:” physical and emotional pain, suffering, anguish, cruelty, punishment, abandonment, loss of self, guilt, misery, and loneliness. I experienced all of these, and I saw no way to survive them or to become whole again. I found the same to be true of…
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Lifeboat Supplies
It’s important to have a ‘lifeboat’ prepared for those hard times. In a recent post, I talked about how I like to visualize my mood as a buoy in the sea. There have been times in my life when ocean waves would wash over my buoy, but then it would always pop back up. When…
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Widower: How Grief Changes Us
Grief, really deep grief, can change you! I see examples of this change through my men’s grief group, responses to my online blogs, online widowers groups, and chance meetings I have with fellow widowers in my community. This change does not happen overnight, it can take months if not years to happen. Many are shocked…
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The Pursuit of Happiness
As widowed men, each of us has experienced a significant wound. This wound like any other will take time to heal. The time it takes for this wound to heal is unique to each one of us. Many of us will however at some point experience the healing of this wound to the point where…
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How to find joy again
“Am I a joy to be around?” Many people seek joy in their lives and wonder why they don’t attract it. In widowhood, it’s easy to get locked in a downward cycle. The less joy you feel, the more hopeless things can look. You may long to be rescued from this (by yourself or by…
Widowers Support Network 