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The Billiard Table
So many of us have commented on this site about how often triggers hijack us. I’m no different in that regard. I get hit up all the time. Having lived 39 years in the same neighborhood and township, I am constantly reminded of my life with my beloved Jan almost everywhere I go. I am…
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Avoiding Downward Spirals
Grief can pummel you physically, emotionally, and mentally in ways that make you feel you will never be able to live a normal life again. Physical pain can drive you to your knees. At times you may sit on the stairs and sob. Mentally, you can find yourself incapable of processing the simplest thoughts. Often,…
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KNOW A WIDOWER? – YOU BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON HIM
Widowers are vulnerable. Very vulnerable! In fact, according to research by Dr. Justin Denney of Washington State University, widowed men have 1.6 to 2.0 times the risk of death by suicide compared to otherwise similar married men, and they will do so within two years of their wife’s death. Still, another research suggests the rate…
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Bereavement Scams
We have all heard about scams. Even the smartest and sharpest among us can fall victim to a scam. I have personally known several close friends who you would think knew better but ended up in a scam situation. I honestly saw red flags when they shared information about their “new love interest.” It all…
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Learning From Each Other
All widowers… you, me, and the guy down the street… all have something in common. We are going, or have gone, through hell on earth. We may have different experiences on this journey, but we also have many commonalities, especially if we were fortunate enough to have a good and loving marriage. We can support…
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Life Is Best When Lived In Pencil – Part 4
I just got home from church. A wonderful message was presented by the minister today centered on the fact that even if life doesn’t take you where you think it will, you’ll still be OK. He told us that life can still be good even when our plans get changed, our dreams get dashed and…
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QUICK HITTERS # 3
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. QUESTION: What is the most important thing for me to do for myself after my wife dies?Jesse Brisendine – Gather a…
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Dreams of your Wife
I had a beautiful, vivid dream about my wife recently. In the dream, she had been in bed with me but had gotten up. I waited for her to return, but she didn’t come back. I wondered for a few minutes why she hadn’t returned, but then I awakened enough to realize that she had…
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Flying Solo
Recently I was having a conversation with my son, and he asked me how I was feeling. I told him I was ok. Every four or five months I see my cardiologist and primary care physician who monitor my health. For the most part I am fine: overweight as I have been most of my…
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The Human Body Has A Mind Of Its Own
Grief is a powerful emotion that alters the chemical balance in your body; sudden loss (an unplanned, prolonged separation) triggers a cascade of changes that lead to depression. Research has shown that a brain chemical known as “corticotropin-releasing factor,” a neurotransmitter released as a stress response, was elevated in persons who had experienced the sudden…
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