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Sex and the Widower
Sex is a topic that we widowers often have difficulty discussing with each other, much less with friends, family, or even therapists. And yet, it needs to be addressed. Why? Because so many of us have so much trouble dealing with the topic. It does not matter whether you are impotent or acting like a…
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Don’t Stop Living Because I Died.
In about two months, I will approach the fourth anniversary of my wife’s death. As I reflect on her passing again, I am reminded of a conversation she and I had about six months before she died. I remember one night feeling so low that I said to my wife I want to go with…
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What Can Matt & Ben Teach Widowers?
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck seem unlikely to be the pair that will teach widowers how to heal and regain purpose and joy in their lives. But in fact, they are an excellent example for us to follow. As I have mentioned before, when a husband dies, his wife will likely be surrounded by her…
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UNDERSTANDING CAN BRING PEACE
Greg arrived at our house ready to do the handyman job we had contracted. I noticed he was solemn and short with his replies. As the morning progressed, I tried to engage him in some sort of conversation, but it was like business only. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing a personality characteristic or…
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YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!
Remember when you were young, married, and full of misconceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband, you were the “boss” in the family! Ha…Ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! We often learned that making solo decisions…
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No More Dreams
I think I saw a miracle… alive and walking free ~ My heat wants to believe it’s true; but, it can’t really ‘be’; Yet, at the time, it seemed so real… and I could see your ‘smile’ – and then I worke and knew that I had dreamed it all the while. I tried so…
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Unmasked Masculinity: Embracing Grief as Strength
In the unforgiving landscape of grief, the notion of masculinity often takes a beating. Society has long dictated that to be a man means suppressing emotions, concealing pain, and presenting an unyielding facade. But true masculinity, in my opinion, is found in the raw, unfiltered expression of emotions, in the display of wounds, and in…
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Why Are Some Widowers So Angry?
Shortly after my wife’s death, I went to the mountains by myself for a week and screamed as loud and often as I wanted to. But now, seven years later, I no longer feel the anger I felt then. I now forget how easy it was to cut myself off from everyone and to let…
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Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
I recently heard someone on television state the title I use for my column today. I thought about how vital that statement is for all people, especially for widowers. As caregivers for our late wives, we often neglected our health. We did not have time to go to the doctor’s office or did not want…
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The Decision to Be Happy
An Excerpt from “When the Rocks Sing” Marty was, in the most profound way, the light and love of my life for the 19 years we were together and beyond. She had the ability to accept her situation at face value, whatever that happened to be, and to make well-reasoned decisions as to how she…
Widowers Support Network 