Self-Care is Non-Negotiable

I recently heard someone on television state the title I use for my column today.  I thought about how vital that statement is for all people, especially for widowers.  As caregivers for our late wives, we often neglected our health.  We did not have time to go to the doctor’s office or did not want to make time to go there.  In my case, having spent many hours in hospitals, waiting rooms, urgent care centers, and doctors’ offices, the last place I wanted to go by myself was a doctor’s office.                                                   

When I joined the group, I remember a conversation with Herb Knoll, our founder.  He asked me point blank when I saw a doctor last, and I told him candidly I could not remember.  As a former Drill Instructor, he gave me a command: make a doctor’s appointment.  I did so and have seen my doctor every six months or so.  I will admit that I have been delinquent with getting blood tests regularly, but I am on task now.

I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes.  The doctor told me my years of neglecting a good diet have resulted in my current condition.  I know it is the same disease that ultimately caused my wife’s death after many years of battling it.  I also know I must monitor my sugar levels and watch what I eat.  I told the doctor I would cut back on certain foods, watch my beverage intake, and follow his suggested guidelines.

I advise all my brothers and anyone that it is important to them to take care of their health.  Losing my wife was the hardest challenge I ever faced in my life.  I still struggle with her loss, but I also know she would want me to take care of myself.  She certainly took care of me for over 30 years.  She would often tell me to cut back on certain foods and drinks.  I, of course, acquiesced but just did so to appease her.

For our brothers new in the journey of grief, I urge you to see the doctor.  Get the check-up and take care of yourself.  Your wife would want you to do so.  Your children need you, and your friends and other family members like you to be present in their lives.  Once again, it’s a debt we owe others.  Take care of yourself.