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KNOW A WIDOWER? – YOU BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON HIM
Widowers are vulnerable. Very vulnerable! In fact, according to research by Dr. Justin Denney of Washington State University, widowed men have 1.6 to 2.0 times the risk of death by suicide compared to otherwise similar married men, and they will do so within two years of their wife’s death. Still, another research suggests the rate…
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Moving Forward: Overcoming Regrets
The first line in the song “Scars in Heaven” by Casting Crowns cuts me to the core. It is, “If I had only known, the last time would be the last time.” Despite being in ICU for three weeks, I fully expected Jasmine to recover. I envisioned when we would once again talk, laugh, hold…
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The Day Muhammad Ali Died
Mohammad Ali; “The Greatest”, “The People’s Champion”, “The Louisville Lip” died on June 3, 2016. What followed was an outpouring of love, admiration, and a memorial of a giant in boxing and humanitarianism. Many spoke of the influence on their lives, the chance meetings, or escapades in the ring. In that number were many of…
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Romance, Love, Friendship, and Marriage
As a widower, I first thought I might meet a woman whom I would marry: my second wife. I thought of this woman as a new romance, a time of head-spinning infatuation and a soaring imagination about the life we might have together. I realized the first flames of romance might cool, and I began…
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Bereavement Scams
We have all heard about scams. Even the smartest and sharpest among us can fall victim to a scam. I have personally known several close friends who you would think knew better but ended up in a scam situation. I honestly saw red flags when they shared information about their “new love interest.” It all…
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Learning From Each Other
All widowers… you, me, and the guy down the street… all have something in common. We are going, or have gone, through hell on earth. We may have different experiences on this journey, but we also have many commonalities, especially if we were fortunate enough to have a good and loving marriage. We can support…
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Softening Triggers
We talk about them all the time, those things that ambush us when we think we’re doing OK. For me, music causes the most pain, and it hits you in the craziest places—not just the radio. If I hear a song on the radio that causes me pain, I immediately change the station—avoidance at all…
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Going it Alone
My dear brothers, of the many things I was not prepared for when becoming a widower, finding a satisfying relationship with another woman has proved to be the most daunting. For those of you that have found either a meaningful relationship or true love again, I salute you. Me, not so fortunate so far. For…
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Will I ever be the same?
By Tom Peyton It’s a question I have asked myself on multiple occasions since my wife has died. In a similar way one of our new writers Daniel Pratt stated that the day his wife died he started living in the past. I think it’s the common question we widowers and I am sure…
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QUICK HITTERS # 4
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #4: How Can I Overcome the Terrible Loneliness I am Feeling? Jim Winner: It’s so easy just to…