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QUICK HITTERS # 3
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. QUESTION: What is the most important thing for me to do for myself after my wife dies?Jesse Brisendine – Gather a…
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WHO AM I?
One of the unexpected adjustments I experienced following my wife’s death was to answer the question, “Who am I now that I’m not her husband?” I did not realize just how much of my identity was wrapped up in being her husband. As time passed, I realized it was not uncommon to adjust when someone…
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QUICK HITTERS # 2
Quick Hitters are brief responses to questions from author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question: When can I start dating again? (PART TWO) Contributor: Nyle Kardatzke A few days before my wife died, she…
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Dating Game
Are you old enough to remember the Dating Game television show? A man or woman would sit on one side of a screen while three suitors sat on the other side. The contestant would then ask a series of silly questions designed to bring out responses that would entertain the audience while the contestant tried…
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Dreams of your Wife
I had a beautiful, vivid dream about my wife recently. In the dream, she had been in bed with me but had gotten up. I waited for her to return, but she didn’t come back. I wondered for a few minutes why she hadn’t returned, but then I awakened enough to realize that she had…
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Flying Solo
Recently I was having a conversation with my son, and he asked me how I was feeling. I told him I was ok. Every four or five months I see my cardiologist and primary care physician who monitor my health. For the most part I am fine: overweight as I have been most of my…
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Strengthen What Remains
My dear Brothers. Over the past three plus years, I have had the privilege of sharing my thoughts with you. I have found this opportunity to be a tremendous honor. But as many things in life, I find it time to move forward with other projects and priorities in my life. Herb has honored me…
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The Human Body Has A Mind Of Its Own
Grief is a powerful emotion that alters the chemical balance in your body; sudden loss (an unplanned, prolonged separation) triggers a cascade of changes that lead to depression. Research has shown that a brain chemical known as “corticotropin-releasing factor,” a neurotransmitter released as a stress response, was elevated in persons who had experienced the sudden…
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WSN: Moving Forward
Many of us in the WSN are familiar with Nora McInerny’s Ted Talk on moving forward vs. moving on. Her theme is we do not move on from grief but move forward with it. (If you have not seen it, you can view It on YouTube).This theme framed how I moved forward in this unwelcomed…
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Widowers and Self-Punishment
In many cultures and religions, self-flagellation is accepted as an appropriate way to drive the demons, bad thoughts, and immoral behaviors out of oneself. Often, movies depict this with a person whipping themselves with a short whip or leather braids. Now while we may not resort to this kind of physical purging, we often do…