Author: Dr. Nyle Kardatzke

  • Holidays 2020

    WSN-MO: Widow-Man with Dr. Nyle Kardatzke When I think of holidays, I think immediately of Thanksgiving and Christmas. My wife died on October 25, so those two holidays were a shock. I didn’t intend to immerse myself in open, emotional grief, but I didn’t want to pretend that nothing had changed. Those holidays were a […]

  • Safe at Home

    WSN: Widow-Man with Dr. Nyle Kardatzke “Two are better than one because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 My wife’s presence in our […]

  • Sleep

    WSN: Widow-Man with Dr. Nyle Kardatzke “I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.” -Robert Frost, from “On Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening” Sleep is a great healer, but it can be elusive in a time of grief. Some men have trouble falling asleep. Others sleep easily but wake […]

  • Starting Your Day

    WSN: Widow-Man with Dr. Nyle Kardatzke “Oh! How I hate to get up in the morning!” Irving Berlin I’m finding now, ten years after my wife’s passing, that I’m having a more challenging time starting my day productively than in my earlier years of widowhood. It’s a lot harder than when I worked full time […]

  • The First Year

    WSN: Widow-Man with Dr. Nyle Kardatzke The first year after your wife’s death is unlike any before or after. You are in a world of unreality. Each day may seem like a new event, even though your surroundings haven’t changed. You may be in something like a state of shock, just carefully going through the […]

  • Returning to Your World

    WSN; Widow-Man with Nyle Kardatzke, PhD. Your wife’s death, her funeral, visitors, and necessary follow-up activities probably kept you away from many of your former, usual activities for a while. Your life had to go on, but it seemed strange, very strange, at first. You probably wondered more than once when or if your life […]

  • Her Clothing, Her Things

    WSN: Widow-Man with Dr. Nyle Kardatzke If you have recently lost your wife, you may be asking yourself, “What should I do with my wife’s clothing, jewelry, books, and other possessions?” I believe our wives are now clothed in splendor as Solomon could not have imagined, but we still have their earthly clothing here, and […]

  • Till Death us do Part

    “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Psalm 22:1 and Matthew 27:46 All marriages end in death or divorce. My wife and I talked about our deaths a few times, back when we were both healthy. We sometimes joked about being each other’s “first husband” or “first wife,” never imagining that there might […]

  • Permission to Change

    My wife and I slept in a king-size bed in the final years of her life. After her death, I continued to sleep in that massive bed, but always on my side, not hers. It was a comfortable bed, but I found I was swimming all over it at night, and it was hard to […]

  • Memory and Memories

    Our memories, in many ways, are a storehouse of who we are. Remembering past events tells you something about who you are. We widow-men face practical issues of memory: our ability to remember names, appointments, and where we have left things. There are also memories that we want to keep: mental pictures of scenes we […]