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Bonds That Are Never Broken
During a recent conversation with a widowed friend, I reflected on some of the unexpected roles we may inherit upon becoming widowers. One of which I hold especially dear is being the curator of my wife Robyn’s and my love. Often, we are accused of deifying our loved ones after their death. In many cases,…
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ACCEPTING LIFE AS A WIDOWER: THE 30 MONTH MARK
I lost my wife Mary in January 2020. At the time I didn’t know how I’d move forward. My journey continues, on a road paved by acceptance. January 2020 was when my beloved wife, friend, soulmate, and rock of 33 years, Mary, passed away after a brave fight against cancer. PERSONAL COMMUNITY After Mary’s death,…
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Life is Best When Lived In Pencil – Part 2
Change, change, change. The only constant seems to be change. In a recent column, I shared that I am considering moving back to the area where I was raised. That’s a huge change for me. That’s getting out the pencil and erasing some plans that had previously been considered to be permanent. It’s good, though,…
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What is Love Now?
When we were young, we often confused physical attraction and sex with love. I know that during my teens, I would fall in love with a new girl almost every month. As soon as I saw a new pretty face I was head over heels again even though I was still in a relationship with…
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A Fourth Way to Raise Your Hand to God
In my previous post, I discussed three ways to raise your hand to God when going through painful circumstances, such as losing your wife: I admit I may have done the first; I am sure I have done the second. However, as I walked through the painful process of accepting the reality of losing my…
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Knowing That You Care
I had a delightful surprise yesterday. The hospice where I volunteer as a minister to men who are caregivers and widowers asked me to co-facilitate a grief support group they had recently formed after over a year of not providing one. The first of eight meetings was yesterday. There were 22 attendees, plus the facilitator…
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WHEN KIDS GRIEVE
Helping a child cope with a loss due to death can be fundamental in helping them deal with loss of any kind the rest of their life. However, I found it to be a new experience and a hard one. The day my first wife, Ruth, died I had 4 children at home ranging from…
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Lessons I Learned from A Man Called Otto
Two weeks ago, I decided to go to the movies and see the new film A Man Called Otto, starring Tom Hanks. Hanks has the title role based on a Swedish film called A Man Called Ove. I read many reviews and saw a mixed bag of comments, from disappointment in Tom Hanks; to dislike…
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Three Ways to Raise Your Hand to God
Jasmine was in the ICU for three weeks when I was told she would never regain consciousness. This was a total shock, and I needed time to process it. I was not ready to “let her go.” Standing beside her the next night, I witnessed her oxygen absorption drop from 92% (which is okay) to…
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Life Is Best When Lived In Pencil
Life is best when lived in pencil. Life is best when we accept and adapt to ournew realities. Life is best when we embrace the fact that our lives are not over. Aportion and chapter of our lives has ended, however, there is more to go. Life isbest when we realize we can be restored…