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You must open yourself up again if you ever want to heal.
One of my favorite tv shows is NCIS. I love the characters, the plot lines, and the exciting stories they investigate. Obviously, it’s a show that deals with death in every episode, but it’s also a show in which the main characters learn to deal with personal tragedy and how to deal with grief. In…
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Are You Talking to Others?
After losing our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words. Numbness, physical and mental pain, a sense of surrealness, and disrupted attention spans interfere with our ability to comprehend, organize thoughts,…
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Grow, Process and Grieve
I’ve been widowed for over 30 years. What shocked me was how ignorant the older generations were toward me. As a young adult, I assumed that those considerably older than me had the experience and maturity to handle life’s difficult situations. I quickly learned this was not the case at all. Losing my soul mate…
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The Day Muhammad Ali Died
Mohammad Ali; “The Greatest”, “The People’s Champion”, “The Louisville Lip” died on June 3, 2016. What followed was an outpouring of love, admiration, and a memorial of a giant in boxing and humanitarianism. Many spoke of the influence on their lives, the chance meetings, or escapades in the ring. In that number were many of…
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The Human Body Has A Mind Of Its Own
Grief is a powerful emotion that alters the chemical balance in your body; sudden loss (an unplanned, prolonged separation) triggers a cascade of changes that lead to depression. Research has shown that a brain chemical known as “corticotropin-releasing factor,” a neurotransmitter released as a stress response, was elevated in persons who had experienced the sudden…
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Widowers and Self-Punishment
In many cultures and religions, self-flagellation is accepted as an appropriate way to drive the demons, bad thoughts, and immoral behaviors out of oneself. Often, movies depict this with a person whipping themselves with a short whip or leather braids. Now while we may not resort to this kind of physical purging, we often do…
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Giving up the darkness in my life
A few days ago, I had a conversation with my grief counselor, who also happens to be an Episcopal priest. Father Joe, as he is affectionately known, has an abundance of wisdom combined with immeasurable compassion and a keen sense of understanding the human spirit. I told him I knew this was his “busy season”…
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Lessons I Learned from A Man Called Otto
Two weeks ago, I decided to go to the movies and see the new film A Man Called Otto, starring Tom Hanks. Hanks has the title role based on a Swedish film called A Man Called Ove. I read many reviews and saw a mixed bag of comments, from disappointment in Tom Hanks; to dislike…
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It’s the Holiday Season, and Grief doesn’t take a break
Yes, it is that time of the year again. It’s when family and friends gather to celebrate the special days: Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa, punctuated by office parties, friends gathering to share a meal, some drinks, and a bunch of laughs and lots of good times. They are described in word and song as…
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Imposters Syndrome – Overcoming Self-Doubts
Robin Williams, Richard Nixon, Oprah Winfrey, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe, John Steinbeck, George Washington, John F Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, and many others struggled with their self-esteem and thought themselves imposters at some point during their lifetime. Why do so many successful people struggle emotionally and psychologically? Why do they often feel that…
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