WSN: A Widowers Perspective

Romans 8:28: And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose. 

What could possibly be ‘good’ about experiencing any one of the 3 Ds?  One comment I heard most as a new widow was, “Something good will come out of this.”  My response to that comment would be, “If you ask me I can show you myriad ways to accomplish that same good without putting me through this wringer.” #Death #Disease #Divorce are painful, life-changing, and earth-shattering experiences.  With what sense of sanity could anyone assume something good would come out of this pain?  We surrender to hopelessness; a total inability to see anything of promise in the future.  Our life as we knew it is a thing of the past; the future will be tolerable at best.

Yet deep within each of us is a desire to not throw in the towel; a burning desire to dream again, to live again, to surmount our challenges, to take up arms against the enemy of abundant life, and to stick it to all who dare to ravage our fruitful lives and leave us feeling like a dilapidated relic of a once-upon-a-time monolith with a profound story to tell.  We desperately reach for that source of strength that we have always reached for in times of distress; our knee-jerk response to tragedy after we have spent a while indulging in self-pity.  My source of hope and promise for a future – the unchanging word of God in an ever experimentally transient world.

God ‘causes’ all things to work together: He is at the helm of the affairs of my life and He is deliberate and intentional about every ‘chance’ occurrence in my life (yes, even the painful experiences!).

For those who are ‘called’: He ‘chose’ me for this trial! Ouch! That hurts, God!  You chose me for pain because you knit me in my mother’s womb, I am fearfully made in your image.  If anyone knows me at the core, it is my maker.  Therefore, when He chooses me, He is well aware of my specific skill set that He is ‘calling’ me to implement.  Is it possible that I was made for such a time as this? My calling is birthed and rooted in a painful experience!

According to His purpose: not my plan but His perfect plan.  There is a point to all of those tears and fears, the devastation and despair, the gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, bloody-nosed battle to survive the pain of loss brought upon each of us.  He has a purpose; we can kick against the goads but ultimately, we have to acquiesce to the perfect plan and unyielding will of a perfect God who ‘purposed’ the pain in our lives.

The 3Ds will guide you down a path of defeat and destruction, unless you make a conscious decision to ‘choose’ to see yourself as ‘chosen,’ to see yourself as part of a greater purpose and plan; a plan that has been promised us in Jeremiah 29:11 – “a plan to prosper you and not to harm you, a plan to give you hope and a future.” Embrace the journey, albeit painful, and you will find yourself embracing the plan!

Joy comes in the morning!

#Death #Disease #Divorce 


Following the passing of her husband Franz, Cynthia Mascarenhas founded Walk With A Widow, a non-profit organization whose primary focus is healing the hearts of widows by giving love and hope to widows around the world. As one would expect, much of the material crafted for widows can also be of help to widowers.                                                       

Cynthia’s insightful articles will appear periodically here on WSN-M

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