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Dating Game
Are you old enough to remember the Dating Game television show? A man or woman would sit on one side of a screen while three suitors sat on the other side. The contestant would then ask a series of silly questions designed to bring out responses that would entertain the audience while the contestant tried…
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Flying Solo
Recently I was having a conversation with my son, and he asked me how I was feeling. I told him I was ok. Every four or five months I see my cardiologist and primary care physician who monitor my health. For the most part I am fine: overweight as I have been most of my…
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Strengthen What Remains
My dear Brothers. Over the past three plus years, I have had the privilege of sharing my thoughts with you. I have found this opportunity to be a tremendous honor. But as many things in life, I find it time to move forward with other projects and priorities in my life. Herb has honored me…
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The Human Body Has A Mind Of Its Own
Grief is a powerful emotion that alters the chemical balance in your body; sudden loss (an unplanned, prolonged separation) triggers a cascade of changes that lead to depression. Research has shown that a brain chemical known as “corticotropin-releasing factor,” a neurotransmitter released as a stress response, was elevated in persons who had experienced the sudden…
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WSN: Moving Forward
Many of us in the WSN are familiar with Nora McInerny’s Ted Talk on moving forward vs. moving on. Her theme is we do not move on from grief but move forward with it. (If you have not seen it, you can view It on YouTube).This theme framed how I moved forward in this unwelcomed…
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Widowers and Self-Punishment
In many cultures and religions, self-flagellation is accepted as an appropriate way to drive the demons, bad thoughts, and immoral behaviors out of oneself. Often, movies depict this with a person whipping themselves with a short whip or leather braids. Now while we may not resort to this kind of physical purging, we often do…
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Testing the Water
I never expected to be writing this column. I have made it my practice to write about things I am personally going through or have already experienced. I thought about not writing on today’s topic but decided it would be cheating. The fact is, I am in the midst of this now. What is “this”? …
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Younger Widowers and Tuition
A young widow wondered: How can I ever pay their tuition? WILL BEING A PARENT ON YOUR OWN PUT YOUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE EDUCATION AT RISK? My kids’ post-secondary educations were taken care of well before my wife died. Younger solo parents may be far less prepared. When Mary passed away in 2020, my kids were…
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QUICK HITTERS # 1
Quick Hitters are brief responses to questions from author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question: When can I start dating again? (PART 1) Contributor: Jesse Brisendine You can start dating whenever you want. The…
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Leaving Your House Forever
My wife died in October 2010, and I lived alone in my house in Indianapolis until recently. She and I bought our house in 1993 when we moved from another state. At that time, our three children lived at home and were in grades 11, 8, and 4 at school. One by one, the kids…
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