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The Human Body Has A Mind Of Its Own
Grief is a powerful emotion that alters the chemical balance in your body; sudden loss (an unplanned, prolonged separation) triggers a cascade of changes that lead to depression. Research has shown that a brain chemical known as “corticotropin-releasing factor,” a neurotransmitter released as a stress response, was elevated in persons who had experienced the sudden…
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Widowers and Self-Punishment
In many cultures and religions, self-flagellation is accepted as an appropriate way to drive the demons, bad thoughts, and immoral behaviors out of oneself. Often, movies depict this with a person whipping themselves with a short whip or leather braids. Now while we may not resort to this kind of physical purging, we often do…
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Giving up the darkness in my life
A few days ago, I had a conversation with my grief counselor, who also happens to be an Episcopal priest. Father Joe, as he is affectionately known, has an abundance of wisdom combined with immeasurable compassion and a keen sense of understanding the human spirit. I told him I knew this was his “busy season”…
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Lessons I Learned from A Man Called Otto
Two weeks ago, I decided to go to the movies and see the new film A Man Called Otto, starring Tom Hanks. Hanks has the title role based on a Swedish film called A Man Called Ove. I read many reviews and saw a mixed bag of comments, from disappointment in Tom Hanks; to dislike…
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Each One, Help One
“Don’t hoard your lessons!” Those words hammered into the back of my mind one day, about three months after my second wife died. By then, I’d been asked to share my grief journey. Contrary, or maybe not, to what one may think, it came pretty easy to talk about and was beneficial to me. I…
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It’s the Holiday Season, and Grief doesn’t take a break
Yes, it is that time of the year again. It’s when family and friends gather to celebrate the special days: Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa, punctuated by office parties, friends gathering to share a meal, some drinks, and a bunch of laughs and lots of good times. They are described in word and song as…
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Grief and Regrets
by David Knapp Shortly after my first wife, Ruth died, I heard a song by a musical couple in Michigan, Steve and Annie Chapman. The song was “No Regrets.” it spoke of the pain and recovery of a man who had lost his wife. Some lyrics included: “He has an empty house, he has an…
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Imposters Syndrome – Overcoming Self-Doubts
Robin Williams, Richard Nixon, Oprah Winfrey, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe, John Steinbeck, George Washington, John F Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, and many others struggled with their self-esteem and thought themselves imposters at some point during their lifetime. Why do so many successful people struggle emotionally and psychologically? Why do they often feel that…
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Grief and the Workplace
David Knapp “Take as long as you need,” the memo read. My boss’s signature followed. When I met with the administration board of the school I was teaching at and explained that Ruth’s death was imminent, their hearts were breaking, as was mine. After a long silence, one said, “Take as long as you need,…
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Avoidance is a big part of dealing with Grief, Trauma and Despair.
by Cynthia Mascarenhas RN, LNCC While your immediate grief response is a fear that you will forget, your immediate trauma response is a fear that you will always remember; the reality is daily you work hard to not remember – the person you loved and lost or the person who failed to love you and…
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