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Gratitude
It is a simple word defined as a strong feeling of appreciation to someone or something for what the person has done to help you. It was not the first word that came to my mind four years ago when my wife spent the last 45 days of her life at a nearby hospital. We…
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QUICK HITTERS # 10
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions author Fred Colby posed to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #10: I am thinking about traveling again, but by myself now. This is kind of scary. What tips can…
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Moving Forward or Moving On?
Is there a difference? One just sounds like it has a negative connotation attached to it. Moving forward sounds like a step in the right direction whereas ‘moving on’ sounds like you are done with the past, you are done grieving, and you are ready to ‘forget’. But, is there really a difference? Is forgetting…
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Don’t Stop Living Because I Died.
In about two months, I will approach the fourth anniversary of my wife’s death. As I reflect on her passing again, I am reminded of a conversation she and I had about six months before she died. I remember one night feeling so low that I said to my wife I want to go with…
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What Can Matt & Ben Teach Widowers?
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck seem unlikely to be the pair that will teach widowers how to heal and regain purpose and joy in their lives. But in fact, they are an excellent example for us to follow. As I have mentioned before, when a husband dies, his wife will likely be surrounded by her…
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UNDERSTANDING CAN BRING PEACE
Greg arrived at our house ready to do the handyman job we had contracted. I noticed he was solemn and short with his replies. As the morning progressed, I tried to engage him in some sort of conversation, but it was like business only. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing a personality characteristic or…
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There is No Timeline for Grief
I was sitting in an airport the other evening waiting for my flight home. I had a wonderful visit with my children and grandchildren and thought about the fun and laughs we shared for several days. As it often happens, a story about grief will pop up on my phone as I write about it…
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YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!
Remember when you were young, married, and full of misconceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband, you were the “boss” in the family! Ha…Ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! We often learned that making solo decisions…
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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
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Learn to Live in Joy, Not the Pain and Sadness.
Someone recently asked me: “What’s the most difficult part of losing your spouse”? I said: “How much time do you have”? as my answer will be long. In the interest of brevity, however, I said after the early dark days, weeks, and months, I started to see some signs of hope. I put into place…
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