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Whistle Past The Graveyard
Whistle past the graveyard is an old expression. Here’s how the dictionary defines the phrase: Definition of whistle past the graveyard: to act or talk as if one is relaxed and not afraid when one is actually afraid or nervous. He displays a confident manner, but he may just be whistling past the graveyard. I…
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Another Milestone
As the 25th of August was nearing, I had ample time to reflect on the second anniversary of my wife, Jan’s, passing. For several days, I thought of little else. On the 25th, I went to our local supermarket and bought a bouquet of pink roses—her favorite—and drove to our church, where her cremains are…
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Every year I share the 9/11 story of myself and my childhood best friend, Mike.
It’s an amazing story of baseball, beer, and friendship. In 2016 , our story went viral by being told by Mike Rowe on his “The Way I Heard It” podcast. The episode was called “You Don’t Know Mike”. But it goes even deeper than that. In my book, Shake Yourself Free, I write about how crucial my…
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I Don’t Want to Heal!
Are you floating in a sea of grief with only a life vest of memories keeping you afloat? If you are not careful, that life vest can become a heavy weight of anger, regrets, and fear that drags you down into depression. Grief during the early stages can be physically and mentally painful to the…
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My Breakout Year
Several months ago, I shared that 2023 would be my “breakout year.” At the time, I didn’t know what that meant, except I intended to focus on myself and the beginning of my new life following the loss of my beloved Jan, my wife and soul mate, for 51 years. I had spent the second…
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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
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Are You Talking to Others?
After losing our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words. Numbness, physical and mental pain, a sense of surrealness, and disrupted attention spans interfere with our ability to comprehend, organize thoughts,…
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Selflessness
One of our brothers, Randy Ritua, recently posted a story initially posted by Teresa Presgraves Jones about her father suddenly losing his wife of 55 years. Like all of us, he was shattered. Shortly after her funeral, late one night, he insisted his grown kids take him to the cemetery immediately. Reluctantly they agreed. It…
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Accepting Old Age
My wife died in October 2010. I was nearly 70 years old, and her passing plunged me into grief and confusion. We had been married almost 40 years, and our marriage had been a good one. In the first year after her passing, I longed for female companionship, but my wife had wisely warned me…
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Widower – Noun or Verb?
Please permit me to use a little literary license with the word Widower strict grammarians and all English teachers would call a noun. It’s a proper name and, as such, falls under the noun category. I, however, want to play with the word and change it into a verb. By making it an action word,…
Widowers Support Network 