Moving Forward or Moving On?

Is there a difference? One just sounds like it has a negative connotation attached to it. Moving forward sounds like a step in the right direction whereas ‘moving on’ sounds like you are done with the past, you are done grieving, and you are ready to ‘forget’. But, is there really a difference? Is forgetting an option? 

Moving forward – “to advance forward while simultaneously causing someone or something to advance forward as well; to begin undertaking, developing, or making progress in some activity or project as planned” 

Moving on – “to stop focusing on someone or something in order to progress with other tasks or one’s life; continue moving or progressing” 

Whichever term you choose to use – the outcome is the same. It all starts with a decision; a decision to not let your grief paralyze you. A decision to not let your past as a husband make you feel incapable of existence as a single person. A decision to not let your present status as a widower define you. A decision to not let your grief deny you the right to live and laugh again. 

Once you have made that decision, you can choose to move forward or move on. You can embrace all that life has to offer you despite the tragedy in your life. You can continue to find joy in all the little things despite the pain of all the joy you have lost. You can find a strength you did not know you had and make decisions you never had to make alone. Does this mean you are at risk of forgetting your beloved spouse? No, it does not! 

Forgetting is never an option because the memories are ingrained in the very fiber of your being. It is a constant endeavor to ‘not remember’. To block out the visions and memories of years gone by. To survive your loss, you do whatever it takes. Remember the good times and dwell on them, or block them out because it hurts to remember. You get to do this the way you choose. It is your grief. It is your pain. It is your survival. 

So, move forward or move on – whichever term you choose to use – Just Move. Don’t remain static. Don’t let sadness consume you. Don’t let overwhelming grief be the hallmark feature of your widowhood. Move from ‘victim’ to ‘victor’. Your life has a purpose – fulfill it!

Isaiah 46:10 

“Declaring the end from the beginning,

And from ancient times things that are not yet done,

Saying, ‘My counsel shall stand,

And I will do all My pleasure,’”