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The Billiard Table
So many of us have commented on this site about how often triggers hijack us. I’m no different in that regard. I get hit up all the time. Having lived 39 years in the same neighborhood and township, I am constantly reminded of my life with my beloved Jan almost everywhere I go. I am…
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Father’s Day Message for Children of Widowers
If your dad is a recent widower, there are ways you can help him on Father’s Day while also strengthening your family relationships. To ignore Father’s Day can be a missed opportunity and even a mistake that injects another layer of separation between the father and children. Based on my own experience, I can tell…
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Iam Tongi, Monsters, and Fatherhood
Why am I feeling so emotional? I am watching a video of Iam Tongi’s duet with James Blunt from American Idol, singing Blunt’s song “Monsters.” Watching it live brought me to tears along with everyone else . . . and it is bringing me to tears again. Three months ago, I never knew of English…
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Isolation Kills, Stay Connected
Jasmine was first admitted to the hospital at the height of the COVID pandemic and placed in isolation, which meant no visitors allowed. I had been recovering at home from my bout with COVID. Four days later, I drove an hour to the hospital to be re-examined (I had COVID pneumonia). After my exam, I requested permission…
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Grow, Process and Grieve
I’ve been widowed for over 30 years. What shocked me was how ignorant the older generations were toward me. As a young adult, I assumed that those considerably older than me had the experience and maturity to handle life’s difficult situations. I quickly learned this was not the case at all. Losing my soul mate…
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Does time really heal all wounds?
As a child, I remember the first time I went to a wake service with my mother for a neighbor who had passed away. I remember being so frightened as I walked into the funeral chapel. I vividly recall so many people crying and feeling as though I would somehow get swallowed up by the…
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Moving Forward: Overcoming Regrets
The first line in the song “Scars in Heaven” by Casting Crowns cuts me to the core. It is, “If I had only known, the last time would be the last time.” Despite being in ICU for three weeks, I fully expected Jasmine to recover. I envisioned when we would once again talk, laugh, hold…
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The Day Muhammad Ali Died
Mohammad Ali; “The Greatest”, “The People’s Champion”, “The Louisville Lip” died on June 3, 2016. What followed was an outpouring of love, admiration, and a memorial of a giant in boxing and humanitarianism. Many spoke of the influence on their lives, the chance meetings, or escapades in the ring. In that number were many of…
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Romance, Love, Friendship, and Marriage
As a widower, I first thought I might meet a woman whom I would marry: my second wife. I thought of this woman as a new romance, a time of head-spinning infatuation and a soaring imagination about the life we might have together. I realized the first flames of romance might cool, and I began…
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Learning From Each Other
All widowers… you, me, and the guy down the street… all have something in common. We are going, or have gone, through hell on earth. We may have different experiences on this journey, but we also have many commonalities, especially if we were fortunate enough to have a good and loving marriage. We can support…
Widowers Support Network 