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Embracing the Transformative Power of Vulnerability: The Burden of Strength for Grieving Men
Introduction: Today, I want to explore a topic that resonates deeply with many men who have experienced loss: the burden of silence. In the face of grief, societal expectations often pressure us to uphold an image of unyielding strength, reinforcing the belief that acknowledging pain and vulnerability is a sign of weakness. This ingrained stoicism…
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Keep trying to be the man she loved.
Recently I was watching a tv show in which one character; a widower asked another character; also, a widower slightly longer in grief than the first character “How do I go on? I am lost. “The character who had been a widower longer paused and then said; “I keep trying to be the man she…
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I Don’t Want to Heal!
Are you floating in a sea of grief with only a life vest of memories keeping you afloat? If you are not careful, that life vest can become a heavy weight of anger, regrets, and fear that drags you down into depression. Grief during the early stages can be physically and mentally painful to the…
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The Heart Expands
I had known one of Dana’s best friends (Laura) since first grade. With nowhere to really go where I felt comfortable, I started stopping by her apartment after Dana’s death. We’d share stories of Dana, while allowing each other to be comfortable in our grief. Shortly thereafter, Shelly moved in with Laura. I vaguely knew…
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My Breakout Year
Several months ago, I shared that 2023 would be my “breakout year.” At the time, I didn’t know what that meant, except I intended to focus on myself and the beginning of my new life following the loss of my beloved Jan, my wife and soul mate, for 51 years. I had spent the second…
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How Long Does Grief Last? Hint: It’s A Journey
It’s a common question posed by those of us who have suffered a loss. It’s our attempt to understand or attach meaning to something unfathomable. In my case, I lost my spouse; it makes no sense, and I need to understand how I can deal with the unbearable pain that has broken my heart. In…
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WHAT DO GERVAIS, BACKMAN, HANKS, AND GERRY TURNER HAVE IN COMMON?
All four men are bringing increased attention to widowers and the many issues we face after losing our wives. There is an upsurge in interest in widowers and their grief journeys due to these four men who have brought open and frank discussions of the topic to the forefront. We believe this will help break…
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Enjoying Old Age
The following is an essay for some of the older widow-men. I’m eighty-three years old and have been a widow-man since October 2010. In the past, I have written columns about some aspects of a man’s life after losing his wife to death. Now I’m writing about being an old man. This may not be…
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HEAD-BASED VS. HEART-BASED
David Knapp One of the potential grieving methods I found could be called “head-based vs. heart-based” grieving. The head-based part would be when I used simple logic to deal with my loss. “She’s in a better place.” “I am strong and can get through this.” “I know things will get better for me.” The use…
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Be Still
A recent photo taken of my one year old granddaughter, Emily, was taken while she waited for her appointment with her chiropractor. Chiropractor? Yes, she has been going to a chiropractor since she was an infant. Reading her expression, I’m unsure of what is happening inside her. It could be fear, anxiety, or concern for her…