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Romance, Love, Friendship, and Marriage
As a widower, I first thought I might meet a woman whom I would marry: my second wife. I thought of this woman as a new romance, a time of head-spinning infatuation and a soaring imagination about the life we might have together. I realized the first flames of romance might cool, and I began…
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Softening Triggers
We talk about them all the time, those things that ambush us when we think we’re doing OK. For me, music causes the most pain, and it hits you in the craziest places—not just the radio. If I hear a song on the radio that causes me pain, I immediately change the station—avoidance at all…
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Going it Alone
My dear brothers, of the many things I was not prepared for when becoming a widower, finding a satisfying relationship with another woman has proved to be the most daunting. For those of you that have found either a meaningful relationship or true love again, I salute you. Me, not so fortunate so far. For…
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When Widows or Widowers Feel Like They Are Cheating – What Do You Do?
When your new widow girlfriend feels like she is cheating on her deceased husband, what do you do? Or maybe you are the one feeling like you are cheating on your dead wife. Are these feelings normal? How do you deal with this without blowing up your new relationship? Before entering a new serious relationship,…
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QUICK HITTERS # 2
Quick Hitters are brief responses to questions from author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question: When can I start dating again? (PART TWO) Contributor: Nyle Kardatzke A few days before my wife died, she…
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Dating Game
Are you old enough to remember the Dating Game television show? A man or woman would sit on one side of a screen while three suitors sat on the other side. The contestant would then ask a series of silly questions designed to bring out responses that would entertain the audience while the contestant tried…
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Testing the Water
I never expected to be writing this column. I have made it my practice to write about things I am personally going through or have already experienced. I thought about not writing on today’s topic but decided it would be cheating. The fact is, I am in the midst of this now. What is “this”? …
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10 Dating Tips for Widows and Widowers
Dating again after the death of a spouse can be an awkward experience. It can bring out feelings of guilt and betrayal from the person dating again. It can also bring out confusion and concern from friends, family, and those close to the deceased spouse. If you’ve lost a spouse and are looking to date…
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How Long Does it Take to Get to Know Someone?
Abel, I’m truly glad things worked out for you. I don’t know your story other than your late wife shot herself to death when she was pregnant. Personally, I could never marry someone in the kind of short time periods you talk about. And I wonder (and feel uncomfortable saying this… but you have chosen…
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QUICK HITTERS # 1
Quick Hitters are brief responses to questions from author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question: When can I start dating again? (PART 1) Contributor: Jesse Brisendine You can start dating whenever you want. The…
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