Spring Ahead to Move Forward

Spring Ahead to Move Forward

A few weeks ago, in the United States, we followed the tradition we did
every spring: we pushed our clocks ahead by one hour. It allows more sunlight
each day and marks the entrance of another season: Spring. For some of us who
live in the northeast, it means the end of our winter season, which was surprisingly not terrible, and now we start another new season. For Christians, Jews, and Muslims, it is the most important and sacred time of the year. Christians celebrate the passion, death, and resurrection of the Savior; for Jews, it marks the celebration of Passover and the end of slavery from Egypt; for Muslims, it is the holiest time:  Ramadan, a month devoted to the intense study of the Quran, fasting, spiritual contemplation and acts of charity. For each major religion, it’s a time to devote yourself to your religion and think about your life.

As Widowers and those who have suffered such painful losses, we know and
understand the sadness, confusion, and heartache of trying to go on. We feel
lost in a world that does not understand or want us to grieve for more than a
certain amount of time. We hear people who do not understand loss say, you have to move on. Grief and loss are viewed like everything else in society: it’s
done now, move on. Unfortunately, that’s not a correct understanding of grief and loss. It’s a process that requires us to do as the three major faiths are doing right now, taking time for self-reflection so that we can move forward and continue to live a life that can be satisfying and filled with joy and peace.

Sadly, there is no blueprint, guidebook, or even one of those crazy books
from over twenty years ago about Grief for Dummies. It’s just a journey that
each of us takes, forced together by the loss of our loved ones. We travel a
road we never wanted to travel, with no signs offering directions. What is most
important is to consider that you are not alone. Consider that others just like
you and me need support and comfort traveling this dark road.

I often tell others I don’t have any words that can wipe away tears or that
can give peace to someone who has suffered the loss of a loved one. I, however,
offer a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, and a willingness to do whatever
I can to make the road a little easier. I think of the three major religions
this time of year encouraging their followers to do acts of charity, to
contemplate their relationship with a higher being, to focus on self-contemplation, and to be witnesses to something greater than themselves so they can find peace and strength within themselves so it can be shared with others.

We have heard it said that you don’t heal by staying away from others and
sitting in front of a TV. Moving forward requires work, self-reflection, and
quiet time. The good news is that we are all here to help each other. Here, a
forum for sharing gives each of us hope.