-
Younger Widowers and Tuition
A young widow wondered: How can I ever pay their tuition? WILL BEING A PARENT ON YOUR OWN PUT YOUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE EDUCATION AT RISK? My kids’ post-secondary educations were taken care of well before my wife died. Younger solo parents may be far less prepared. When Mary passed away in 2020, my kids were…
-
Knowing That You Care
I had a delightful surprise yesterday. The hospice where I volunteer as a minister to men who are caregivers and widowers asked me to co-facilitate a grief support group they had recently formed after over a year of not providing one. The first of eight meetings was yesterday. There were 22 attendees, plus the facilitator…
-
WHEN KIDS GRIEVE
Helping a child cope with a loss due to death can be fundamental in helping them deal with loss of any kind the rest of their life. However, I found it to be a new experience and a hard one. The day my first wife, Ruth, died I had 4 children at home ranging from…
-
Lessons I Learned from A Man Called Otto
Two weeks ago, I decided to go to the movies and see the new film A Man Called Otto, starring Tom Hanks. Hanks has the title role based on a Swedish film called A Man Called Ove. I read many reviews and saw a mixed bag of comments, from disappointment in Tom Hanks; to dislike…
-
New Year – New You – New Relationships?
Often after our wives pass, some other crisis will come along that shakes us and causes us to confront our current state of thinking about our life going forward. This may be just what is needed to wake us and point us into a more promising future. While being prepped for an emergency hernia operation…
-
Each One, Help One
“Don’t hoard your lessons!” Those words hammered into the back of my mind one day, about three months after my second wife died. By then, I’d been asked to share my grief journey. Contrary, or maybe not, to what one may think, it came pretty easy to talk about and was beneficial to me. I…
-
Winter Rain
It’s December in St. Louis, Missouri. Winter has arrived. With the winter comes days of winter rain. In years past, my wife and I actually enjoyed days like today (when we did not have to get outside). I’d light a fire. We’d make some tea or coffee, and just be together. Many people find days…
-
Imposters Syndrome – Overcoming Self-Doubts
Robin Williams, Richard Nixon, Oprah Winfrey, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe, John Steinbeck, George Washington, John F Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, and many others struggled with their self-esteem and thought themselves imposters at some point during their lifetime. Why do so many successful people struggle emotionally and psychologically? Why do they often feel that…
-
Grief and the Workplace
David Knapp “Take as long as you need,” the memo read. My boss’s signature followed. When I met with the administration board of the school I was teaching at and explained that Ruth’s death was imminent, their hearts were breaking, as was mine. After a long silence, one said, “Take as long as you need,…
-
The Fourth Turn
By Michael K. Burroughs I had just turned 71 when my dear wife, Jan, passed away. We were four months shy of our 52nd Anniversary. Her doctors never expected her to make it to our 50th, following her third stroke that made her an invalid. They expected another stroke at any time, as she had…
Widowers Support Network 