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If I am not helping my neighbor, then why am I here?
I saw this sign on the wall of my doctor’s office as I waited for him to enter the examination room. I asked him about it, and he told me his 8-year-old granddaughter gave it to him a few years ago. Of course, she loves her grandpa and wants others to know what a wonderful…
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Spring Ahead to Move Forward
Spring Ahead to Move Forward A few weeks ago, in the United States, we followed the tradition we didevery spring: we pushed our clocks ahead by one hour. It allows more sunlighteach day and marks the entrance of another season: Spring. For some of us wholive in the northeast, it means the end of our…
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UNDERSTANDING CAN BRING PEACE
David Knapp Greg arrived at our house ready to do the handyman job we had contracted. I noticed he was solemn and short with his replies. As the morning progressed, I tried to engage him in some conversation, but it was like business only. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing a personality characteristic or…
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Four Things Grief has Taught Me
Since losing my late wife Ursula on October 16, 2023, I have had my moments of grief. I never imagined becoming a widower at age 57. We were supposed to grow old as we rode into the sunset together. It’s been tough, and I know the grieving process is far from over, But through this…
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There is No Timeline for Grief
I was sitting in an airport the other evening waiting for my flight home. I had a wonderful visit with my children and grandchildren and thought about the fun and laughs we shared for several days. As it often happens, a story about grief will pop up on my phone as I write about it…
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Overcoming Loneliness And Suicidal Thoughts
I, and many others who write about the widower experience, often speak of loneliness. Paired with the pain of our grieving, loneliness is perhaps the most threatening challenge we face. Why? Because it often builds upon our grief and spreads its seeds of depression, self-doubts, and regrets. This often leads to something we are hesitant…
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Learn to Live in Joy, Not the Pain and Sadness.
Someone recently asked me: “What’s the most difficult part of losing your spouse”? I said: “How much time do you have”? as my answer will be long. In the interest of brevity, however, I said after the early dark days, weeks, and months, I started to see some signs of hope. I put into place…
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No More Dreams
I think I saw a miracle… alive and walking free ~ My heat wants to believe it’s true; but, it can’t really ‘be’; Yet, at the time, it seemed so real… and I could see your ‘smile’ – and then I worke and knew that I had dreamed it all the while. I tried so…
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It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year unless you are Dealing with Loss
Step into your car, turn the radio on, and I almost guarantee every station is playing holiday music. Walk into a grocery store, a shopping mall, Home Depot, fast food places, and most banks or even the post office, and you will hear holiday songs filling the air. I chose the Andy Williams song for…
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Thankfulness
As I write my column, I am preparing to leave my home in Upstate New York and travel to South Carolina to join my family for our annual Thanksgiving Day tradition: lots of good food, watching football all day and evening, and having a ton of fun. The one person missing is my late wife,…
Widowers Support Network 