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The Stupid Things They Say
by Dr. David Knapp PhD One big question concerning loss we all encounter regularly is “What do yo say to a friend or loved one when they experience severe loss?” I learned from personal experience that few would-be comforters are comfortable with helpful statements like “Your heart must be hurting right now.” Many have […]
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Do We Ever Live Again? Or Do We Just Exist?
by Cynthia Mascarenhas Life drags on. In one sense, it is mundane. In another, it is so full of unpredictability. Unexpected emotional peaks and troughs. Unexpected challenges to our emotional, psychological, and physical health. The inability to envision a future, dream, plan, and have a sense of excitement. An overwhelming sense of despair characterizes each […]
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Memories and Grief
by Dr. David Knapp, PhD It has been said that time and memories are the griever’s friend. In the weeks after my first wife died, I became very concerned that the people would forget Ruth. I did not want that to happen because I knew I would not forget her. My mind was full of […]
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Accepting Your Partner’s Faults
By Fred Colby “Mother Theresa” is what my daughters and many of her friends called my wife during her lifetime. This was initially inspired when she dressed up like Mother Theresa during a Halloween celebration at Wangenheim Middle School, where she worked part-time. She carried a donation jar labeled “Help Mother Theresa Go to the […]
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Do I Need Counseling, Therapy, or Coaching
If you already have all the answers, don’t waste your time asking others for help… because you won’t be able to hear any advice that is offered, no matter how good it is. However, if you feel lost and are ready to hear what others can share with you, then, by all means, ask for […]
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Familiar Places
Familiar Places I know this happens to you. As you travel around your town, you pass by many places that were once either special or routine to you and your late wife. If you’re like me, sometimes you pass by them absentmindedly. Other times it brings tears to your eyes. For me, the places are […]
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So Tied To You
My late wife, Jan, loved music. Her tastes in music varied widely. We began dating in 1969, on the tail end of the fabulous 60s era of music. Our first decade of marriage was the 70s. The best songs of that era stayed with us throughout her life, as they reminded us of happy times […]
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Dreams
Dreams have fascinated mankind since long before Joseph’s dreams in the Old Testament saved Egypt from an agricultural disaster. Dreams continue to fascinate us, though there is no settled scientific or psychological agreement on exactly what they are. When my wife was alive, we often told each other our dreams the next morning. My dreams […]
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“I’ll be Looking for You”
Shortly before my wife Darlene died in October 2010, we were talking after our final visit with her oncologist. This is how I described it later. On our drive home, we had one of the more significant conversations of our lives. We probably talked about small matters and medical decisions part of the way home, […]
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Finding the Courage to Love Again
Dear brothers, like many of you, I celebrated that we have reached the 1900-member mark in the Widowers Support Network. Wow, we have come a long way. Upon reading that news, the fact that this also represents 1900 broken hearts, countless tears, and dreams unrealized. As I sit down to exercise the privilege of deciding […]
Widowers Support Network 