Author: Terrell Whitener

  • Bonds That Are Never Broken

    Bonds That Are Never Broken

    During a recent conversation with a widowed friend, I reflected on some of the unexpected roles we may inherit upon becoming widowers. One of which I hold especially dear is being the curator of my wife Robyn’s and my love. Often, we are accused of deifying our loved ones after their death. In many cases, […]

  • The View from the Other Side of the Mirror

    The View from the Other Side of the Mirror

    First, Happy New Year, Brothers. Many of you have just experienced the first holiday season without your loved one; for others, welcome to January. For many, the start of the new year serves as a time to set new goals or make new resolutions. I have taken this time to take a clear look at […]

  • Why?


    This brief but powerful question has crossed our minds or been voiced out loud in this journey we have come to know as grief. Whether your loss came without warning or resulted from a long and protracted illness, why is a question that has or continues to cross our minds? Asking this all too familiar […]

  • Game Plan…for a Better Tomorrow

    Game Plan…for a Better Tomorrow

    The end of the year can be a tricky time for many people. The current state you are in may, at times, give way to the propensity to judge your entire existence by your present circumstances. Among the many teachings, I have been affected by is Dr. Eric Stoltz’s teaching “The Adversity Quotient.” When I […]

  • Courage at the Crossroads

    Courage at the Crossroads

    My dear brothers, recently, I found myself experiencing another visit to an all too familiar place, “the crossroads.” First, let me give you a little background about how I choose to navigate life. I strongly believe in the practice of dividing my life into three distinct silos, my personal life, my spiritual life, and my […]

  • Why I Divorced My Grief

    Why I Divorced My Grief

    by Terrell L. Whitener My dear brothers, recently I decided to get a divorce.  The actual divorce was not between myself and another person but with emotion, I had carried for far too long.  That emotion was grief. Realistically, our grief will always assume some space in our existence; however, in my case, I decided […]

  • Finding the Courage to Love Again

    Finding the Courage to Love Again

    Dear brothers, like many of you, I celebrated that we have reached the 1900-member mark in the Widowers Support Network. Wow, we have come a long way. Upon reading that news, the fact that this also represents 1900 broken hearts, countless tears, and dreams unrealized. As I sit down to exercise the privilege of deciding […]

  • A Shout Out to Everyone Trying Right Now

    A Shout Out to Everyone Trying Right Now

    A couple of weeks ago, Brother Larry Ahrens shared a brief thought from SC Laurie titled “A Shout Out to Everyone Trying Right Now.” This amazingly well-put-together thought was also written about so poignantly last week by Brother Tom Peyton. At that time, I posed the idea with Tom about offering articles built around this […]

  • Home for the Holidays? Finding my “New Normal”

    Home for the Holidays? Finding my “New Normal”

    My Dear Brothers, For the last article that I have the privilege of sharing with you this year, I want to share the article that started it all for me. In 2015, the Heartland Hospice Association asked me to contribute an article for their Holiday Newsletter. With Herb’s indulgence and your patience, I would like […]

  • My 7th Christmas

    My 7th Christmas

    This year I will be experiencing my 7th Christmas without my wife Robyn. Every year our house would transform into a continuous theme of the current or upcoming holiday. Now most of those decorations remain in the basement and my annual complaint of having to haul the countless crates from the basement are no more. […]