-
Sex and the Widower
Sex is a topic that we widowers often have difficulty discussing with each other, much less with friends, family, or even therapists. And yet, it needs to be addressed. Why? Because so many of us have so much trouble dealing with the topic. It does not matter whether you are impotent or acting like a…
-
Don’t Stop Living Because I Died.
In about two months, I will approach the fourth anniversary of my wife’s death. As I reflect on her passing again, I am reminded of a conversation she and I had about six months before she died. I remember one night feeling so low that I said to my wife I want to go with…
-
What Can Matt & Ben Teach Widowers?
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck seem unlikely to be the pair that will teach widowers how to heal and regain purpose and joy in their lives. But in fact, they are an excellent example for us to follow. As I have mentioned before, when a husband dies, his wife will likely be surrounded by her…
-
UNDERSTANDING CAN BRING PEACE
Greg arrived at our house ready to do the handyman job we had contracted. I noticed he was solemn and short with his replies. As the morning progressed, I tried to engage him in some sort of conversation, but it was like business only. I wasn’t sure if I was seeing a personality characteristic or…
-
YOU ARE THE BOSS NOW!
Remember when you were young, married, and full of misconceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband, you were the “boss” in the family! Ha…Ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! We often learned that making solo decisions…
-
No More Dreams
I think I saw a miracle… alive and walking free ~ My heat wants to believe it’s true; but, it can’t really ‘be’; Yet, at the time, it seemed so real… and I could see your ‘smile’ – and then I worke and knew that I had dreamed it all the while. I tried so…
-
Unmasked Masculinity: Embracing Grief as Strength
In the unforgiving landscape of grief, the notion of masculinity often takes a beating. Society has long dictated that to be a man means suppressing emotions, concealing pain, and presenting an unyielding facade. But true masculinity, in my opinion, is found in the raw, unfiltered expression of emotions, in the display of wounds, and in…
-
Why Are Some Widowers So Angry?
Shortly after my wife’s death, I went to the mountains by myself for a week and screamed as loud and often as I wanted to. But now, seven years later, I no longer feel the anger I felt then. I now forget how easy it was to cut myself off from everyone and to let…
-
A Support Circle Can Help You Heal
Eight years ago, I found myself where many of you are today… in a deep grieving mode without the one person I could always rely upon to hear, support, and love me whenever I faced a major challenge. I, like many of you, had to decide: I recognized early on that I could not do…
-
QUICK HITTERS # 5
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #5: Is it okay to Bury Myself in Projects or Work to Avoid Grieving? Jesse Brisendine: Staying busy…
Widowers Support Network 