Avoidance is a big part of dealing with Grief, Trauma and Despair.


by Cynthia Mascarenhas RN, LNCC

While your immediate grief response is a fear that you will forget, your immediate trauma response is a fear that you will always remember; the reality is daily you work hard to not remember – the person you loved and lost or the person who failed to love you and you left. 

So you avoid familiar places and memories. You keep moving forward. It’s a normal and appropriate response. But, on certain days you remember- it is part of your healing. 

Today I just dropped off my daughter to the airport. She’s off to another country to minister to orphans through the art of dance. Often in ministry, we find we are the ones who return transformed. So I pray that God would use this time to heal her hurting heart. I lost my husband, but she lost her dad. A pain I cannot begin to understand. But I know this is a big part of her healing journey. Cover her in prayer. God has big plans for her. 

This trip to the airport brought me back to my many memories with my husband. The chick-fil-a where we had family dates for decades – where I now sit and remember. Pain mingled with sweetness. Grief over loss crossing over into gratitude for many years together. 

It’s a mixed bag. Grief never goes away. You make a choice to not reside in it. But it will forever reside in you. 

Grief Trauma & Despair change you; Break you in ways you cannot imagine

Then the beauty of a new creation masterfully held together by scars begins to emerge. You are never the same but in so many ways, you are stronger. You are more equipped. You are emboldened to step into your calling. 

Remembering you with an overwhelming love today and always Franz Mascarenhas 💕💕

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