Author: Fred Colby

  • What is Love Now?

    What is Love Now?

    When we were young, we often confused physical attraction and sex with love. I know that during my teens, I would fall in love with a new girl almost every month. As soon as I saw a new pretty face I was head over heels again even though I was still in a relationship with […]

  • New Year – New You – New Relationships?

    New Year – New You – New Relationships?

    Often after our wives pass, some other crisis will come along that shakes us and causes us to confront our current state of thinking about our life going forward. This may be just what is needed to wake us and point us into a more promising future. While being prepped for an emergency hernia operation […]

  • What is My Purpose Now?

    What is My Purpose Now?

    When I turned 30 years of age I went through a life crisis. I hated my job, had no clear goals, and did not know what I wanted to do. Consequently, I was drinking too much and was probably not much fun to be around for my wife and kids. One day after a particularly […]

  • Surviving the Holidays

    Surviving the Holidays

    Many will tell you that within a week of your wife’s passing, you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days. Your reaction will depend on how important and memorable each of those days was for you and […]

  • First Ever-Date? Girlfriend? or Lover?

    First Ever-Date? Girlfriend? or Lover?

    Was your wife the first woman/girl you ever: Either directly (through my website or Facebook page) or indirectly (through Widowers Support Network), I frequently hear from others who experienced one of these “firsts” with their wives. And I have often wondered how that might impact the grief journey for these brothers in grief. While that […]

  • Imposters Syndrome – Overcoming Self-Doubts

    Imposters Syndrome – Overcoming Self-Doubts

    Robin Williams, Richard Nixon, Oprah Winfrey, Ernest Hemingway, Vincent Van Gogh, Marilyn Monroe, John Steinbeck, George Washington, John F Kennedy, Abraham Lincoln, and many others struggled with their self-esteem and thought themselves imposters at some point during their lifetime. Why do so many successful people struggle emotionally and psychologically? Why do they often feel that […]

  • God, Football, Sex and Gold-diggers

    God, Football, Sex and Gold-diggers

    by Fred Colby Admit it! How often have even the most devout of us chosen to attend a football game (or other favorite sport or activity) instead of church? Or instead of spending time with your family? Or instead of honoring a previous commitment to a friend? If you are a churchgoer, you might be […]

  • Accepting Your Partner’s Faults

    Accepting Your Partner’s Faults

    By Fred Colby “Mother Theresa” is what my daughters and many of her friends called my wife during her lifetime. This was initially inspired when she dressed up like Mother Theresa during a Halloween celebration at Wangenheim Middle School, where she worked part-time. She carried a donation jar labeled “Help Mother Theresa Go to the […]

  • Do I Need Counseling, Therapy, or Coaching

    Do I Need Counseling, Therapy, or Coaching

    If you already have all the answers, don’t waste your time asking others for help… because you won’t be able to hear any advice that is offered, no matter how good it is. However, if you feel lost and are ready to hear what others can share with you, then, by all means, ask for […]

  • Life After Death?

    Life After Death?

    After our wife passes, many of us will ask the question we desperately want an answer to: “Does she still exist? Is she still aware of me? Can she hear me or see me? Is there any way for me to communicate with her?” No matter our religious beliefs, some struggle to make sense of […]