Be a Better Friend – to Yourself

We have to learn to be our own best friend because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. – Roderick Thorp So often during our deep grieving we fall into the trap of condemning ourselves, dwelling on our regrets, and/or doubting ourselves. Instead of celebrating the great marriage weContinue reading “Be a Better Friend – to Yourself”

Surviving the Holiday Abyss

Everyone will start to tell you within a week of your wife’s passing that you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days. Much of your reaction will depend upon how important and memorable each of those daysContinue reading “Surviving the Holiday Abyss”

WHERE CAN I GET HELP?

If you are a widower looking for help, ideas, or support, this blog is for you! At this time of year many of us have a difficult time getting through all the poignant reminders of our spouse. This is NOT the time to be the silent loner. It is the time to reach out toContinue reading WHERE CAN I GET HELP?

WHAT TO SAY, NOT SAY, AND I SAY …. TO A NEW WIDOWER

I recently was asked during a radio interview to summarize my advice to the friends and family of a widower on what to say or not say to them. The following are some highlights of our conversation. WHAT TO SAY TO A NEW WIDOWER I often recommend you start off by asking the widower toContinue reading WHAT TO SAY, NOT SAY, AND I SAY …. TO A NEW WIDOWER

Widowers: Dating Again!

Starting to date again at age 65 after being married for many years is intimidating for both widows and widowers. The reality can be very different than the cliché’s seen at the movies.  For me, dating was a necessary step in my journey to redefine myself and regain my self-confidence. Once I got past theContinue reading “Widowers: Dating Again!”

What We Share with Fellow Widowers

Author, Widower to Widower By Fred Colby All widowers have something in common… we are going, or have gone, through hell on earth. We may have different experiences on this journey, but we also have many commonalities… especially if we were fortunate enough to have a good loving marriage. We can support each other byContinue reading “What We Share with Fellow Widowers”

A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family

A kind word can save a widower. Amazing, but true! When a widower is buried in grief, just one kind word from someone can make their grief bearable and make their chances of surviving their grief intact more likely. More than once, a friend called me at just the right time and offered kind wordsContinue reading “A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family”

Embrace or Escape the Holidays?

WSN: Widower to Widower by Fred Colby One of my mantras as a widower is: “It will never be the same again!” This view is never more apparent than during the holidays. Because holiday memories are so unforgettable and because they are so important to the family as a unit, the loss of your wifeContinue reading “Embrace or Escape the Holidays?”