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Taking Stock in 2023
January 25th marked the seventeenth month since my wife of 51 years transitioned to the Other Side. I recently reviewed what I have gone through during that time—what has worked for me and what has not. I should say at the outset that I am in a much better place than I was a year…
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Thanks to each of you for supporting me
I can’t believe that in two weeks, 2022 will end, and 2023 will begin. Another year will end, and a New Year will begin with my hope and aspirations for new and exciting possibilities. It was how I looked at each year for many years until that villain called grief entered the picture. It took…
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I don’t know what to say; Is there a way I can help?
I have several friends I often speak with, and I must preface that they have been highly supportive since my wife died over two years ago. I appreciate the meals, the invitations to parties, and the opportunities to socialize with them, but there is this feeling of discomfort every time we get together. There is…
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Do I Need Counseling, Therapy, or Coaching
If you already have all the answers, don’t waste your time asking others for help… because you won’t be able to hear any advice that is offered, no matter how good it is. However, if you feel lost and are ready to hear what others can share with you, then, by all means, ask for…
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Grief opens the mind to that we cannot explain
Last week Larry Aherns, one of our brother’s shared a short inspirational piece entitled: “A shout out to everyone who is trying right now” by S.C. Lourie. Lourie is an author and blogger from the U.K. who writes of hope to all who have suffered a loss. She suffered a miscarriage a few years ago…
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The Grief Club: My strength and hope
I never imagined that I would be a member of this group at age sixty-three. It’s a group no one wants to join, but circumstances, the loss of a loved one, put me into this club. You and I are part of a group of strangers, most of whom we would never have…
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WHERE CAN I GET HELP?
If you are a widower looking for help, ideas, or support, this blog is for you! At this time of year many of us have a difficult time getting through all the poignant reminders of our spouse. This is NOT the time to be the silent loner. It is the time to reach out to…
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WHAT TO SAY, NOT SAY, AND I SAY …. TO A NEW WIDOWER
I recently was asked during a radio interview to summarize my advice to the friends and family of a widower on what to say or not say to them. The following are some highlights of our conversation. WHAT TO SAY TO A NEW WIDOWER I often recommend you start off by asking the widower to…
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Your Adult Children
“And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers.” Malachi 4:6 Your adult children have suffered a significant loss too. You probably have done what you could to comfort them and give them wisdom about life without their mother. However, the fact remains that they…
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The Healing Power of a Group
by Tom Peytom Recently I met with an old friend I worked with many years ago at a diner near my home for dinner. We were both excited since I had not seen him in about five years. During our dinner, he asked the question that so many friends and acquaintances often pose to me;…