The holidays are over; the new year is here, and some people decide to make resolutions about changes and things they hope to accomplish in the new year. I have never been one who ascribes to resolutions because, like most people, mine have fallen to the wayside during the first month of the new year. What I would prefer to do is look back over the past year to see what I have done to help in my healing process, and I look forward to the new year.
The month of January is named after a Roman god called Janus. Janus is the two-headed figure you may have seen in images, with one face looking backward and the other looking forward. He is often described as the god of beginnings, change, exits, and entrances. I think it’s an appropriate way to describe the new year as we pause to look back on our past and look forward to the future.
After four and ½ years since my wife passed, I had my family at my home to celebrate the holidays. We had wonderful meals, exchanged gifts, and celebrated with joy and love. Yes, I had some moments when I had to be alone so I could shed my tears and reminisce about the wonderful holidays I shared with my late wife, but I did not feel overwhelmed as I have in the past but felt grateful for her life and love. I continue to feel her presence in my life and see her through my children and grandchildren.
I urge you to take a little time and reflect on the past. Look at those photo albums or pictures on your phone or tablet. Recall those memories that will be with you for the rest of your life. Let the tears flow, and feel the presence of your late loved one who is still a part of your life.
Take some time as well to think about the future. I know I have a business that requires a lot of attention, and I can still hear my wife telling me what to do and how to handle certain aspects of the business. I also know I have a responsibility to my children and grandchildren to stay healthy, be present for milestones in their lives, and do what my wife would want me to do: live my life.
I don’t need to make a list of resolutions and try to accomplish things I know I cannot and probably would not accomplish. I just need to set some real and achievable simple tasks that I know I can accomplish—things that will help me grow and heal. I wish you all a happy and healthy new year.
