This column’s title is the mantra of the Matthews Aurora Funeral Services

I was driving on the highway recently and saw this truck drive past me, and the words for my title this week were in capital letters on this truck. It immediately triggered my thoughts on an article I read about Philadelphia Flyers hockey coach John Tortorella a few days ago. Tortorella has coached in the National Hockey League for many years and coached my New York Rangers back in the 1990s for several years. He has a reputation for being a hard-nosed coach who challenges his players and never shies away from confronting them if he feels they are not meeting their expectations.

Last week, Tortorella decided to reach out to Guy Gaudreau, the father of Matthew, and Johnny Gaudreau, the two hockey players I am sure some of you may have read about who were killed tragically while riding their bicycles in New Jersey. The two young men had returned to New Jersey to attend their sister’s wedding. Sadly, they were both killed by a drunk driver a few days before the wedding. The hockey community and so many others mourned their loss, and Coach John Tortorella decided he wanted to do something that he thought would be therapeutic and a wonderful way for this grief-stricken father to honor his sons.

John Tortorella reached out to Guy Gaudreau and asked if he would stop by one of the practices and help work with his team. He felt it could be helpful to this grief-overwhelmed dad to pay tribute to his sons by helping coach players on the Philadelphia Flyers.  He told Guy we need you. Tortorella told their father his expertise, knowledge, and wealth of wisdom could benefit our players. What better way to honor your sons than to pay tribute to them in the sport they loved and inspire other players to continue the legacy of their short-lived lives?

I was touched by the compassion of this tough-nosed coach who saw an opportunity to help a grieving father deal with his overwhelming grief. Tortorella believes that by being a part of the team, the father can teach others what he freely taught his late sons: the importance of playing the game and the skills and knowledge necessary to become a great player. More importantly, Tortorella wants to keep the flame alive by teaching his players what Johnny and Mathew Gaudreau loved doing. 

So often, people have no idea what to say to someone who has lost a loved one. To me, this simple example of offering a grieving father an opportunity to touch lives is the best way to help someone walk the path of grief. Hopefully, this example of love will inspire others to invite those who grieve to find the things they love, continue to live life, and pay homage to their loved ones.

Find what you love and continue to be that example that your loved one always believed you were and continue to be