Step into your car, turn the radio on, and I almost guarantee every station is playing holiday music. Walk into a grocery store, a shopping mall, Home Depot, fast food places, and most banks or even the post office, and you will hear holiday songs filling the air. I chose the Andy Williams song for this column’s title and then added a few more words to it. It permeates every place we travel. For those of us dealing with grief, the music can seem like the worst water torture possible. The words of every song speak about being with loved ones, sharing good times, celebrating with family and friends, and enjoying the company of those we love. If you are dealing with loss, it makes it challenging but not impossible.

What about those of us who have lost loved ones? What about the fact that one chair will be empty at the dinner table? Someone will miss the festivities this year, and we miss them immensely. It’s been three and ½ years since my wife went to her eternal home. She loved the holidays and enjoyed all the days leading up to the celebration. She cherished wrapping gifts, decorating the house, and attending holiday parties. She enjoyed the laughs, great food, and friendships that mark this special season. Despite feeling lost at times, I am trying to keep the joy she loved alive by decorating my home again and preparing, with a lot of help, a wonderful meal for my grandchildren. They asked if they could visit me in Upstate New York this year instead of me traveling down south. I agreed reluctantly at first. I haven’t decorated in a few years as I was not home for the holidays. I haven’t cooked but am getting ready to do so with a lot of help from some local caterers. I am stepping away from my fear and moving forward to see the love and joy that my wife freely gave to so many every holiday.

I bought some new decorations for both the outside and inside of the house. I am looking at some menus to figure out what I can serve kind to my grandchildren. I will wrap gifts never as beautiful as my wife did, but as they say, “It’s the thought that counts.”? I plan on having holiday music fill the air and give us a sense of joy and peace. I am trying to recapture some of the days my wife loved. I am also doing new things to enhance the traditions.

I will keep those traditions moving forward by doing what my wife would want me to do. I feel obligated to keep her legacy in motion by doing for the family I so love. I am trying to get my large dog to keep his reindeer antlers on, but he is not cooperating. With practice, I am sure he will succeed.

I admit it’s a challenge without my wife here. I am sure she is looking down, laughing and smiling. It would be easy to decline and tell my grandchildren I could not do it this year. They would understand. I can’t give up like that. My wife told me so many times in the past to never give up. I keep moving forward. Yes, at times, with tears of missing her, but also with tears of joy for the many holidays we shared. It’s time to pause, celebrate, and share peace and joy with your loved ones. It’s also time to remember and give thanks to your wife or loved one who can still feel the joy of the season.