I was recently wandering through a large bookstore near my home and ended up in the self-help section, which contained multiple books about healing. Some offer ways through Eastern or Western religions, and others provide medical or psychological advice that experts believe are proven methods to finding happiness and well-being. Some books provide step-by-step instructions on how to follow the path to happiness.
Do a Google search, and you will find hundreds of articles offering suggestions and/or even guides to finding the path to happiness. Go to YouTube, and you can find an equal number of videos showing how people find happiness. We are overwhelmed with a plethora of information about ways to find happiness. I am sure Facebook, Instagram, and TikTok have a surplus of information that tells people how to find the path to happiness.
As I read the comments on our Facebook page for Widowers, I heard the cry of so many new brothers asking the question we veterans asked when we started our journey: “Will I ever feel better again?” “Will I ever find happiness after the loss of my wife and best friend?” “When will my tears and pain subside?” All valid questions that deserve answers.
Four and ½ years ago I began the journey as a Widower and faced the same uncertainty our new brothers faced. I remember the answers I received from so many of our brothers as I posed one of the questions every new member asked: Will I ever feel happiness again? One answer strikes out very clearly: a member said I know you don’t know me and you may think I am not being honest with you; but I ask you to trust me and know that one day and no one knows when it will happen you will smile again and you will laugh when you speak about your wife and you will find peace. To be honest I thought he was simply appeasing me. As time passed and I became involved in a support group and found peace and still do as the co-facilitator of a grief support group, I discovered that his words rang true.
Over the past four or more years, I have discovered that happiness requires a lot of work. I can research the data about what I need to do to find it, but I must also take steps to find out what in my life motivates me to smile, feel happiness, and discover the many opportunities to grow in this vast world.
Each person’s path is different. There is no GPS or carefully planned route to find out what makes you feel better or experience joy in your life. In his Thanksgiving article the other day, our founder, Herb Knoll, said each of us will find our path and discover those things that allow us to enjoy the remaining days we have on this earth. It means you and I each must take time to find those things that give meaning and purpose to our lives.
Maybe it’s finding a new hobby, joining a book club, hiking with friends, joining a sports club, or doing those things that bring meaning to your life. Dr. Arthur Brooks teaches a course on Happiness at Harvard University. He says that if you feel lonely, go out and visit someone lonely so you can bring some joy to that person. He advocates, as does everyone else in this field of study, about happiness, that healing occurs when you turn your pain into helping someone else. In turn, it will help you feel better.
I wish you all success in finding the path that makes you happy.
Happy Thanksgiving.
