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I WAS SUPPOSED TO DIE FIRST!
Almost every widower I have met, emailed, or spoken to has said this to me at some point. I certainly felt that way after my wife passed in 2015. We both had some health challenges during our lifetime. Still, mine were the more serious and recent ones, so it was a big surprise for both…
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Permission To Grieve
The meeting was well attended. I talked for over 45 minutes about lessons learned from grieving the loss of two wives and the areas of my life that affected me. In the course of my discussion, I gave a list of other experiences in life where grieving often needs to occur. Among them was…
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I don’t know what to say; Is there a way I can help?
I have several friends I often speak with, and I must preface that they have been highly supportive since my wife died over two years ago. I appreciate the meals, the invitations to parties, and the opportunities to socialize with them, but there is this feeling of discomfort every time we get together. There is…
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Why I Divorced My Grief
by Terrell L. Whitener My dear brothers, recently I decided to get a divorce. The actual divorce was not between myself and another person but with emotion, I had carried for far too long. That emotion was grief. Realistically, our grief will always assume some space in our existence; however, in my case, I decided…
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Accepting Your Partner’s Faults
By Fred Colby “Mother Theresa” is what my daughters and many of her friends called my wife during her lifetime. This was initially inspired when she dressed up like Mother Theresa during a Halloween celebration at Wangenheim Middle School, where she worked part-time. She carried a donation jar labeled “Help Mother Theresa Go to the…
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Be a Better Friend – to Yourself
We have to learn to be our own best friend because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. – Roderick Thorp So often during our deep grieving we fall into the trap of condemning ourselves, dwelling on our regrets, and/or doubting ourselves. Instead of celebrating the great marriage we…
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Am I Cheating?
There is a feeling of fall in the air. Depending on where you live, you may have noticed the nights are feeling a little cooler, and the morning air is feeling a little brisker. Where I live, I have also seen the leaves on the trees are starting to lose their spring/summer green color. One…
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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
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Forgiveness
In the old movie, “Love Story,” the lead character says, “Being in love means never needing to say you’re sorry.” In fact, loving another person means often saying you’re sorry unless you are such a perfect person that you never blunder into a thoughtless talk or fail to show sympathy and support when you should.…
Widowers Support Network 