As Thanksgiving Day draws near, we mourn the loss of our wives or life partners. Holidays are complex; some say the holidays during the “first year” following a loss are the most painful. While we mourn, I wish to express reasons to be grateful.

It started with your wife or life partner saying…”Yes.” She chose to spend her life with you. She gave you every day she had to give, to love and laugh with you. She was there to help you overcome life’s many hurdles, side by side with you. Your wife prepared thousands of meals for your enjoyment and pleasure, each crafted with love. For many of you, your wife carried and then gave birth to your children, leaving them behind to look after Dad.

Your wife made your house a home. She may have picked up your slippers or sacrificed a movie she wanted to see so you could watch the Big Game. Some of you may have had the luxury of your wife’s income that helped purchase your home or took care of the car payments. She kept the family’s social calendar and decorated your home for the holidays. She may have planned the family’s vacations or spent evenings cleaning the bathroom while you went to bed. Some of you enjoyed it when she would get up before you to make breakfast and keep you company as you drank your morning coffee. And when the mood was right, she invited you into her arms.

Make no mistake, your wife would want you to move forward in the life you have been provided as you would have wanted her to do the same. Some of you will discover love as I did with Maria, while still others will find joy in life by helping others. Some will rediscover what you’ve been missing by spending more time with your children and grandchildren, while others may write a book or take up an instrument.

Yes, we widowers have much to be grateful for… and it all started with her saying, “Yes!”

Happy Thanksgiving to you, my brothers!