Author: Fred Colby

  • I Don’t Know Everything!

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby And… more than likely, neither do you. One of the biggest shocks of entering deep grieving as a widower is the realization of how ill-prepared we are to deal with it… much less survive it! And yet, widowers will often say things like:  “I don’t need any help,” […]

  • You’re the Boss Now?

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby Remember when you were young, married, and full of misperceptions about your life and marriage? Previously, in our more male-dominated society, you might have believed that as the husband, you were the “boss” in the family! Ha! Many of us eventually found what a joke that belief was! […]

  • Where Can I Get Help?

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby If you are a widower looking for help, ideas, or support, this blog is for you! While there are very few good books out there specifically for widowers, there are several organizations around the country that can provide help or direct you to the help that you need.  […]

  • Counseling – Religious or Secular?

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby Shortly after my wife of 45 years passed in 2015, I found myself in the deepest pit of despair. I knew that I was in trouble, and I could not find the answers all by myself. So, I asked myself, “Where can I go for help?”  For many […]

  • Learning From Each Other

    All widowers… you, me, the guy down the street… we all have something in common… we are going, or have gone, through hell on earth. We may have different experiences on this journey, but we also have many commonalities… especially if we were fortunate enough to have a good loving marriage. We can support each […]

  • We Are Worthy!!

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby Whether quoting from Wayne’s World or the Bible, the phrase “I am not worthy” may describe how we feel at times after our wives pass away.  A ritual of self-condemnation and feelings of inadequacy often overwhelm us at this time. It is so easy to fall into a […]

  • One Mississippi, Two Mississippi

    Since your wife died, how often have you been thoroughly confused by the kindness of women towards you? How often have you, even though you know it is wrong, thought there might be something there? I am not embarrassed to tell you that I had many such instances. For example, within a few months of […]

  • Reinventing Yourself to Live Again

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby  When Theresa, my wife of 45 years, passed just before midnight on June 29, 2015, I lost three of the four legs that formed the foundation of my life: my wife, family, job, and faith. Only my family remained, while my faith was in crisis. To add to […]

  • Let’s Heal Now!

    Widower to Widower with Fred Colby If you are going to survive this hell-on-earth experience and if you want to heal, you are going to have to grow as a father, brother, son, friend, and community member. If you retreat from the world to stew in your grief and anger, that is likely where you […]

  • Holiday Abyss

    Everyone will start to tell you within a week of your wife’s passing that you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days. Much of your reaction will depend upon how important each of those days was for […]