Author: Fred Colby

  • A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family

    A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family

    A kind word can save a widower. Amazing, but true! When a widower is buried in grief, just one kind word from someone can make their grief bearable and make their chances of surviving their grief intact more likely. More than once, a friend called me at just the right time and offered kind words […]

  • Embrace or Escape the Holidays?

    Embrace or Escape the Holidays?

    WSN: Widower to Widower by Fred Colby One of my mantras as a widower is: “It will never be the same again!” This view is never more apparent than during the holidays. Because holiday memories are so unforgettable and because they are so important to the family as a unit, the loss of your wife […]

  • BIG BOYS DO CRY!

    BIG BOYS DO CRY!

    WSN: Widower to Widower by Fred Colby Remember Frankie Valli’s hit song, “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” We can all probably sing a few verses. Well, like you, I learned the hard way that as widowers, big boys do cry! And it is a shock to our system. Nothing can be more disturbing for sons and […]

  • Are Success and Happiness Possible?

    Are Success and Happiness Possible?

    WSN: Widower to Widower by Fred Colby Immersing yourself in grief after your wife dies is unavoidable, necessary, and healthy. This stage of your grief journey may go on for months, or even years. But if you stay buried in grief, you may need to ask, “Is this: · conducive to your healing? · good […]

  • God, Football, Sex & Gold-diggers

    God, Football, Sex & Gold-diggers

    WSN: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby Admit it! How often have even the most devout of us have chosen to attend a football game (or other favorite sport or activity) instead of attending church? Or instead of spending time with your family? Or instead of honoring a previous commitment to a friend? If you […]

  • Maid, Cook, Concubine, or Wife?

    Maid, Cook, Concubine, or Wife?

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby In my last blog, we spoke about how alone and desperate, we often feel after our wife has passed. And we discussed how this could lead to horrible decisions that can pretty much ruin your life going forward. So, what happens when we meet a possible “new best […]

  • Escaping Anxiety

    Escaping Anxiety

    When my wife passed 4 years ago, I first experienced shock and then numbness, after that anger and depression, and after that resignation and doubts about my future without her. It wasn’t until around my sixth month of grieving that I began to experience something unfamiliar to me since my 20’s and 30’s, anxiety… and […]

  • Is Contentment Even Possible?

    Is Contentment Even Possible?

    Remember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point. Many of us were fortunate enough to have achieved that blissful stage of existence… even if it was only for a […]

  • Widower: It Will Never Be the Same Again!

    Widower: It Will Never Be the Same Again!

    One of the hardest intellectual and emotional tipping points to achieve in a widower’s healing grief journey is when you turn your thought away from the past toward the future.  Five years ago, I began my grief journey. For several months I was buried in stomach wrenching physical and mental pain which included my constantly […]

  • I Don’t Know Everything!

    I Don’t Know Everything!

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby And… more than likely, neither do you. One of the biggest shocks of entering deep grieving as a widower is the realization of how ill-prepared we are to deal with it… much less survive it! And yet, widowers will often say things like:  “I don’t need any help,” […]