Author: Fred Colby

  • Widower: Maybe I Don’t Want to Heal!!

    Are you floating in a sea of grief with only a life vest of memories and past love keeping you afloat? If you are not careful, that life vest can instead become a weight belt of anger, regret, and fear that drags you down into depression. Grief during the early stages can be both physically […]

  • Storytelling Yourself to Healing

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby Grief can be like cancer, festering in your body and soul until it corrupts and destroys all that is good in you. If grief is left alone or ignored while it mutates into something that threatens your very existence, it can: send you to the hospital with very […]

  • Widower: Surreal Grief

    Ever feel fuzzy, out of focus, or even surreal? Remember in The Matrix movie when a glitch in the program would cause fragmentation of the image, or when Neo first entered the Matrix and could not determine what was real and what was a computer program. Well, during my early deep grieving, those type of […]

  • Why Am I Still Here?

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby After my wife (Theresa) died, after the numbness, and after the severe physical and mental pain of the first few weeks, I began to ask the question most widowers ask, “Why am I still here? Why did she go first? Wasn’t the plan that I was supposed to […]

  • Widower: Reaching Grace Through Grief

    Widower to Widower with Fred Colby  When you find yourself in the deepest pit of grief, when you are hurting as you have never hurt before, and when you feel that you will never be able to feel good again… that is when you can find grace, in this… the most unexpected place. It can […]

  • Widower: Escaping Anxiety

    When my wife passed 4 years ago, I first experienced shock and then numbness, after that anger and depression, and after that resignation and doubts about my future without her. It wasn’t until around my sixth month of grieving that I began to experience something unfamiliar to me since my 20’s and 30’s, anxiety… and […]

  • Surreal Grief

    Ever feel fuzzy, out of focus, or even surreal? Remember in The Matrix movie when a glitch in the program would cause fragmentation of the image, or when Neo first entered the Matrix and could not determine what was real and what was a computer program. Well, during my early deep grieving, those type of […]

  • How Purpose Helps You Heal

    Besides experiencing overwhelming and sometimes terrifying loneliness, for a widower, the loss of their wife can often leave them feeling lost and without direction. As husbands from an earlier era, we often feel that providing for our family (our wife in particular), is our first and most important purpose.  With her gone, you cannot help […]

  • Widower: The Importance of Empathy to Healing Grief

    Widower: The Importance of Empathy to Healing Grief Empathy is critical to healing grief. For me, it was second only to gratitude as a skill that I had to develop to pull myself out of the deep depression and suffering I experienced during the first year of my grieving. After losing my wife of 45 […]

  • Widower: Helping A New Widower on Father’s Day

    If your dad recently became a widower, there are ways you can help him on Father’s Day. Fathers who are newly minted widowers on Father’s Day are apt to be in the throes of intense loneliness, self-doubt, and possibly caught up in regrets and self-recrimination. This can lead to self-isolation and depression if not addressed. […]