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The Fourth Turn
By Michael K. Burroughs I had just turned 71 when my dear wife, Jan, passed away. We were four months shy of our 52nd Anniversary. Her doctors never expected her to make it to our 50th, following her third stroke that made her an invalid. They expected another stroke at any time, as she had…
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“If You Feel You are in a black hole, don’t give up. There’s A Way Out” – Stephen Hawking
by Tom Peyton Stephen Hawking, the English theoretical physicist, was probably one of the greatest minds ever to exist. My feeble mind could never attempt to understand the workings of this genius, but a few of his famous quotes always inspired me. What strikes me about the passage mentioned above is that Hawking believed something…
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The Stupid Things They Say
by Dr. David Knapp PhD One big question concerning loss we all encounter regularly is “What do yo say to a friend or loved one when they experience severe loss?” I learned from personal experience that few would-be comforters are comfortable with helpful statements like “Your heart must be hurting right now.” Many have…
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So Tied To You
My late wife, Jan, loved music. Her tastes in music varied widely. We began dating in 1969, on the tail end of the fabulous 60s era of music. Our first decade of marriage was the 70s. The best songs of that era stayed with us throughout her life, as they reminded us of happy times…
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“I’ll be Looking for You”
Shortly before my wife Darlene died in October 2010, we were talking after our final visit with her oncologist. This is how I described it later. On our drive home, we had one of the more significant conversations of our lives. We probably talked about small matters and medical decisions part of the way home,…
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Widower Wearing Wedding Ring Sparks Huge Discussion
Recently I was asked to contribute to a discussion on this topic that attracted over 4,500 online comments. The topic was launched by a woman who confronted a widower about his wearing a wedding band eight months after his wife passed. The following article was featured on Bored Panda, an international online publication. Woman Confused…
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The Grief Club: My strength and hope
I never imagined that I would be a member of this group at age sixty-three. It’s a group no one wants to join, but circumstances, the loss of a loved one, put me into this club. You and I are part of a group of strangers, most of whom we would never have…
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WHERE CAN I GET HELP?
If you are a widower looking for help, ideas, or support, this blog is for you! At this time of year many of us have a difficult time getting through all the poignant reminders of our spouse. This is NOT the time to be the silent loner. It is the time to reach out to…
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WHAT TO SAY, NOT SAY, AND I SAY …. TO A NEW WIDOWER
I recently was asked during a radio interview to summarize my advice to the friends and family of a widower on what to say or not say to them. The following are some highlights of our conversation. WHAT TO SAY TO A NEW WIDOWER I often recommend you start off by asking the widower to…
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Grief Lessons: From the Rolling Stones
Recently, I had the pleasure of checking off one of the items on my personal “bucket list.” That was to attend a Rolling Stones concert. Little did I know as my son and I settled into our seats that not only would I witness a fantastic concert but get an up-close and personal lesson on…
Widowers Support Network 