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Life, Love and Moving Forward
February 28th will mark the fourth anniversary of the passing of my wife, Robyn. In so many ways it seems like much longer than four years. I wanted to take a few moments to reflect on a few of the things that I have learned during this period. I have often referred to this time…
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Valentine’s Day for the broken-hearted
February 14th conjures up images of love and romance. Yet, some of us have only memories to hold on to. How do I celebrate this special day of love without the one I have loved? My heart, which still bursts with love, now feels heavy with pain akin to unrequited love. As much as I…
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Make today a real winner…
I’m a fan of the cartoon character Charlie Brown. I believe he was one of the first to utter the term “good grief” on TV. In Charlie’s case, “good grief” was his catchphrase, his favorite way of saying he was bummed out or fed up. In our collective cases, however, good grief may have a…
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We Are Worthy!!
WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby Whether quoting from Wayne’s World or the Bible, the phrase “I am not worthy” may describe how we feel at times after our wives pass away. A ritual of self-condemnation and feelings of inadequacy often overwhelm us at this time. It is so easy to fall into a…
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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
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A New Year – the promise of a New You!
The passage of time does not always bring with it an anticipation of a “new tomorrow.” Somewhere deep within, I know, “Out with the Old and In with the New” is an adage that is only partially true. Some parts of me have left me forever only in a physical and tangible sense; I still…
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Let’s Heal Now!
Widower to Widower with Fred Colby If you are going to survive this hell-on-earth experience and if you want to heal, you are going to have to grow as a father, brother, son, friend, and community member. If you retreat from the world to stew in your grief and anger, that is likely where you…
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Forgiveness
In the old movie, “Love Story,” the lead character says, “Being in love means never needing to say you’re sorry.” In fact, loving another person means often saying you’re sorry unless you are such a perfect person that you never blunder into a thoughtless talk or fail to show sympathy and support when you should.…
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Dealing with the feelings that come up around the holidays
All those feelings that come up around the holidays As the holidays approach, I start hearing from folks in my widowhood community. They talk about the variety of feelings the season is bringing up for them. A widower, with sadness and confusion in his voice, tells me that the holidays were always “her thing”. She…
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Holiday Abyss
Everyone will start to tell you within a week of your wife’s passing that you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days. Much of your reaction will depend upon how important each of those days was for…
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