Author: Fred Colby

  • What We Share with Fellow Widowers

    Author, Widower to Widower By Fred Colby All widowers have something in common… we are going, or have gone, through hell on earth. We may have different experiences on this journey, but we also have many commonalities… especially if we were fortunate enough to have a good loving marriage. We can support each other by […]

  • A Message for a Widower’s Friends and Family

    A kind word can save a widower. Amazing, but true! When a widower is buried in grief, just one kind word from someone can make their grief bearable and make their chances of surviving their grief intact more likely. More than once, a friend called me at just the right time and offered kind words […]

  • Embrace or Escape the Holidays?

    WSN: Widower to Widower by Fred Colby One of my mantras as a widower is: “It will never be the same again!” This view is never more apparent than during the holidays. Because holiday memories are so unforgettable and because they are so important to the family as a unit, the loss of your wife […]

  • BIG BOYS DO CRY!

    WSN: Widower to Widower by Fred Colby Remember Frankie Valli’s hit song, “Big Girls Don’t Cry?” We can all probably sing a few verses. Well, like you, I learned the hard way that as widowers, big boys do cry! And it is a shock to our system. Nothing can be more disturbing for sons and […]

  • Are Success and Happiness Possible?

    WSN: Widower to Widower by Fred Colby Immersing yourself in grief after your wife dies is unavoidable, necessary, and healthy. This stage of your grief journey may go on for months, or even years. But if you stay buried in grief, you may need to ask, “Is this: · conducive to your healing? · good […]

  • God, Football, Sex & Gold-diggers

    WSN: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby Admit it! How often have even the most devout of us have chosen to attend a football game (or other favorite sport or activity) instead of attending church? Or instead of spending time with your family? Or instead of honoring a previous commitment to a friend? If you […]

  • Maid, Cook, Concubine, or Wife?

    WSN-MO: Widower to Widower with Fred Colby In my last blog, we spoke about how alone and desperate, we often feel after our wife has passed. And we discussed how this could lead to horrible decisions that can pretty much ruin your life going forward. So, what happens when we meet a possible “new best […]

  • Escaping Anxiety

    When my wife passed 4 years ago, I first experienced shock and then numbness, after that anger and depression, and after that resignation and doubts about my future without her. It wasn’t until around my sixth month of grieving that I began to experience something unfamiliar to me since my 20’s and 30’s, anxiety… and […]

  • Is Contentment Even Possible?

    Remember that feeling of peace, that feeling of being comfortable with yourself, your circumstances, and your marriage? Maybe you were 10, 20, or even 30 years into your marriage before you reached this point. Many of us were fortunate enough to have achieved that blissful stage of existence… even if it was only for a […]

  • Widower: It Will Never Be the Same Again!

    One of the hardest intellectual and emotional tipping points to achieve in a widower’s healing grief journey is when you turn your thought away from the past toward the future.  Five years ago, I began my grief journey. For several months I was buried in stomach wrenching physical and mental pain which included my constantly […]