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Widower: Reaching Grace Through Grief
Widower to Widower with Fred Colby When you find yourself in the deepest pit of grief, when you are hurting as you have never hurt before, and when you feel that you will never be able to feel good again… that is when you can find grace, in this… the most unexpected place. It can…
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From Mourning to Grief
Scripture tells us to mourn with those who mourn; it does not say to grieve with those who grieve – but we should. Mourning and grief are not the same. Mourning has a beginning and a distinct end, but grief goes on much longer. Mourning is made up of rituals and procedures that immediately follow…
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The Other Side of Love and Respect
In 2004 Dr. Emerson Eggerich wrote a ground-breaking book titled “Love and Respect.” In this book, Dr. Eggerich brilliantly wrote about the innate need for women to feel loved and men to desire respect. I will never forget when I initially read that book feeling like “yeah, that’s it.” I also remember feeling that Dr.…
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Grieving Me
A common phrase often heard after the loss of a loved one is, “I’m sorry for your loss.” These words from well-wishers clearly indicate the condolence is intended for the griever who now lives without a dear loved one. Recognizing that the survivor has lost someone precious is part of traditional mourning rites. Western culture,…
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Widowers Need To Step Out of The Shadows and Into the Light of Day
By Herb Knoll Author: The Widower’s Journey Grieving men are misunderstood. And for a good reason. After all, men don’t believe they have permission to grieve in the first place. When a man experiences a loss, they frequently resort to their primitive behaviors, suggesting to those who will listen, “I’m fine,” Oh really? Is that…
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Living In-Between?
Many of us have a natural inclination to do the things that we feel we do well. I, in many ways, have found aspects of widowhood very much like that. Last week I experienced what would have been my 19th wedding anniversary and the celebration of 25 years together with my late wife. Periodically I…
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Widower: Escaping Anxiety
When my wife passed 4 years ago, I first experienced shock and then numbness, after that anger and depression, and after that resignation and doubts about my future without her. It wasn’t until around my sixth month of grieving that I began to experience something unfamiliar to me since my 20’s and 30’s, anxiety… and…
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Surreal Grief
Ever feel fuzzy, out of focus, or even surreal? Remember in The Matrix movie when a glitch in the program would cause fragmentation of the image, or when Neo first entered the Matrix and could not determine what was real and what was a computer program. Well, during my early deep grieving, those type of…
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Why Widowed Men Are Different from Widows
We widowed men have much in common with widows, our sisters in grief. Like widows, we have lost our spouses, the loves of our lives. They have had experiences of loss like ours: shock, disorientation, grief, and loneliness. We have much in common with female widows, and we can be more empathetic now. But our…
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When Memories Are Not Enough: Finding Common Ground with Fate
What do you do when memories are not enough? This is a question that many who have experienced the loss of someone significant in their lives have to come to grips with after a period pass. You find yourself repeating the same stories and referencing your loved to the same person or persons repeatedly. Though…
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