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“I’ll be Looking for You”
Shortly before my wife Darlene died in October 2010, we were talking after our final visit with her oncologist. This is how I described it later. On our drive home, we had one of the more significant conversations of our lives. We probably talked about small matters and medical decisions part of the way home,…
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Grief and Anger
By Tom Peyton When my wife died over two years ago, I remember experiencing a gamut of emotions, with anger being the most prominent. Angry that I was now a Widower; angry that an illness ended my wife’s life and our almost 30-year marriage. Angry at the doctors, who I thought could have done more…
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The World after You and Me
Question to Consider: What will the world be like after I’m gone? A History Channel program would showdetails of the likely events on earth if humans were to disappear suddenly. The program starts with the lives of the surviving animals and plants. It moves on to the breakdown of power plants and water supplies and…
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Life After Death?
After our wife passes, many of us will ask the question we desperately want an answer to: “Does she still exist? Is she still aware of me? Can she hear me or see me? Is there any way for me to communicate with her?” No matter our religious beliefs, some struggle to make sense of…
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Can You Heal While Living in the Past?
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. Lao Tzu (6th-century BC Chinese philosopher) When we first enter deep grieving after losing our wives, we often do everything we can think of to…
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A Celibate Life
“To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am.” 1 Corinthians 7:8 The Apostle Paul had strong reasons for being single. Now that you are single again, you may be asking yourself whether the single life is best for you for the rest…
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Tired of being alone? Maybe it’s time to try dating again.
Whether you’re a divorcee, a widowed man, have never married or even been in a committed relationship, you may someday tire of being alone. I completely understand. You see, I have been in your shoes as have millions of other men. As a result, there are many lessons and best practices for you to go…
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Be a Better Friend – to Yourself
We have to learn to be our own best friend because we fall too easily into the trap of being our own worst enemies. – Roderick Thorp So often during our deep grieving we fall into the trap of condemning ourselves, dwelling on our regrets, and/or doubting ourselves. Instead of celebrating the great marriage we…
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Home For the Holidays: 2021 Edition
This year I will be experiencing my 7th Christmas without my wife, Robyn. Every year our house would transform into a continuous theme of the current or upcoming holiday. Now, most of those decorations remain in the basement, and my annual complaint of having to haul the countless crates from the basement is no more.…
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Surviving the Holiday Abyss
Everyone will start to tell you within a week of your wife’s passing that you must steel yourself against the trauma of upcoming special days and holidays. We each are likely to have very different experiences during these special days. Much of your reaction will depend upon how important and memorable each of those days…
Widowers Support Network 