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Winning (even when you don’t know it)
Good morning brothers! I’ve been in Naples for three weeks. My last writing to the group was two weeks ago. The first week here was one of the hardest that I’ve experienced since Joyce died. The loneliness was brutal. I had myself convinced I should return to Indiana. I looked for new things to do…
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Laundry
With the holidays behind us, we widow-men may feel relieved to return to the mundane duties of normal life. If you had house guests, you may still have a backlog of laundry. “Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.” Burt Reynolds A lady friend told me about…
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Forgiveness
In the old movie, “Love Story,” the lead character says, “Being in love means never needing to say you’re sorry.” In fact, loving another person means often saying you’re sorry unless you are such a perfect person that you never blunder into a thoughtless talk or fail to show sympathy and support when you should.…
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Own your own grief
I’ve known grief for some time now. The unexpected and certainly unwanted passing of far too many of my loved ones has indeed left its ugly mark. But none of my traumatic losses were the same. Nor were they the same as yours, were they? Yet, it can be human nature to fall prey to…
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The Other Side of Love and Respect
In 2004 Dr. Emerson Eggerich wrote a ground-breaking book titled “Love and Respect.” In this book, Dr. Eggerich brilliantly wrote about the innate need for women to feel loved and men to desire respect. I will never forget when I initially read that book feeling like “yeah, that’s it.” I also remember feeling that Dr.…
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Surreal Grief
Ever feel fuzzy, out of focus, or even surreal? Remember in The Matrix movie when a glitch in the program would cause fragmentation of the image, or when Neo first entered the Matrix and could not determine what was real and what was a computer program. Well, during my early deep grieving, those type of…
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When Memories Are Not Enough: Finding Common Ground with Fate
What do you do when memories are not enough? This is a question that many who have experienced the loss of someone significant in their lives have to come to grips with after a period pass. You find yourself repeating the same stories and referencing your loved to the same person or persons repeatedly. Though…
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Why I Still Love My Life
Recently I received the gift of a significant breakthrough in my life. But first, a little background. Fifty-two months ago, on a cold February morning, I was driving to the hospital, suitcase in tow to bring my wife home from another incident avoided. You see, I was very used to adjusting our routine with a…
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How Purpose Helps You Heal
Besides experiencing overwhelming and sometimes terrifying loneliness, for a widower, the loss of their wife can often leave them feeling lost and without direction. As husbands from an earlier era, we often feel that providing for our family (our wife in particular), is our first and most important purpose. With her gone, you cannot help…
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The Pursuit of Happiness
As widowed men, each of us has experienced a significant wound. This wound like any other will take time to heal. The time it takes for this wound to heal is unique to each one of us. Many of us will however at some point experience the healing of this wound to the point where…
Widowers Support Network 