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QUICK HITTERS # 5
Quick Hitters are brief responses to Questions posed by author Fred Colby to his fellow WSN contributors. They offer a variety of perspectives on some of the most challenging questions facing new widowers. Enjoy. Quick Hitter Question #5: Is it okay to Bury Myself in Projects or Work to Avoid Grieving? Jesse Brisendine: Staying busy…
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Whistle Past The Graveyard
Whistle past the graveyard is an old expression. Here’s how the dictionary defines the phrase: Definition of whistle past the graveyard: to act or talk as if one is relaxed and not afraid when one is actually afraid or nervous. He displays a confident manner, but he may just be whistling past the graveyard. I…
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Another Milestone
As the 25th of August was nearing, I had ample time to reflect on the second anniversary of my wife, Jan’s, passing. For several days, I thought of little else. On the 25th, I went to our local supermarket and bought a bouquet of pink roses—her favorite—and drove to our church, where her cremains are…
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Death takes a Life but does not take away Love.
Every three months, I facilitate a bereavement support group for my church via Zoom; anywhere from 8 to 12 people show up. Some have recently lost a loved one; others are further along in the journey of grief and are trying to gain peace and comfort; one or two want to continue to benefit…
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Rediscovering Individuality
Today (9/14/23) marks the third anniversary of my wife’s death. I never could have anticipated all the changes that took place over three years and, more specifically, the past eight months. I was happy with my life for 36 years. Contentment, peace, and fulfillment would have described my personal life quite well. I enjoyed a…
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Angry and Grateful At the Same Time?
Just try to be angry and grateful at the same time. Hard, isn’t it? It isn’t easy because focusing on one interferes with your ability to do the other. Once we get past the numbness after our wife passes, we usually sink into a period of deep grieving that may last months or even years.…
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Reminiscing – does it hurt, or does it heal?
How often have people tried to console you after losing your loved one with the cliché, “Thank God you have your memories?” My memories were my worst nightmare! They were a constant reminder of my loss. They brought me no consolation. Yet, for others they browse through pictures and videos reliving precious moments. Each of…
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YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU THINK YOU CANNOT!
How often have you said or thought, “I can’t do that! I am not good at it and never will be.” For me, it was math. God, how I hated math. I was a classic straight “D” student through elementary, middle, and high school. Then, something happened. During my third try at college, I got…
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Surprises
My Late wife, Jan, and I were in a terrible car crash in January 2018. She spent seven hours in surgery, was hospitalized for a month, and was at home as an invalid for the next four months. Outpatient rehab followed for the remainder of the year. The car we were in that day was…
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Embracing the Transformative Power of Vulnerability: The Burden of Strength for Grieving Men
Introduction: Today, I want to explore a topic that resonates deeply with many men who have experienced loss: the burden of silence. In the face of grief, societal expectations often pressure us to uphold an image of unyielding strength, reinforcing the belief that acknowledging pain and vulnerability is a sign of weakness. This ingrained stoicism…
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