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Forgiveness – what role does it play in my grief journey?
Guilt and anger are recognized characteristics of the grief journey – Guilt over what could have been done or should have been done; guilt over things left unsaid or things that were better left unsaid; guilt over those fleeting moments where a smile might form around the corners of your mouth; guilt for some unknown…
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What’s your mountain?
I live in Indiana. It’s flat. Think pancake flat. But I’m climbing a mountain. So are you. As surviving spouses, we all climb the “second mountain” in life. I just finished an interesting book titled The Second Mountain. While the book isn’t written from a grief perspective, it speaks to many of our challenges. As…
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Are You Talking to Others?
After losing our wives, many of us find ourselves unable to communicate effectively with others. Even those of us who come from careers in communication may find ourselves suddenly at a loss for words. Numbness, physical and mental pain, a sense of surrealness, and disrupted attention spans interfere with our ability to comprehend, organize thoughts,…
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Selflessness
One of our brothers, Randy Ritua, recently posted a story initially posted by Teresa Presgraves Jones about her father suddenly losing his wife of 55 years. Like all of us, he was shattered. Shortly after her funeral, late one night, he insisted his grown kids take him to the cemetery immediately. Reluctantly they agreed. It…
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Accepting Old Age
My wife died in October 2010. I was nearly 70 years old, and her passing plunged me into grief and confusion. We had been married almost 40 years, and our marriage had been a good one. In the first year after her passing, I longed for female companionship, but my wife had wisely warned me…
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Looking back to move ahead.
Over the past few weeks, I have been re-reading my journals. At the suggestion of my grief counselor over two- and one-half years ago, I started to write a journal. I have many composition books that contain my feelings, thoughts, and emotions that chronicle the last three years of my journey in the world of…
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ROB
“I have been looking forward to our visit ever since you promised to come to see me at my wife’s funeral,” Rob began. “I would give about anything if someone would just show up at my house, uninvited, and offer to talk or do something for me. In my grief, I don’t always know what…
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Widower – Noun or Verb?
Please permit me to use a little literary license with the word Widower strict grammarians and all English teachers would call a noun. It’s a proper name and, as such, falls under the noun category. I, however, want to play with the word and change it into a verb. By making it an action word,…
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Let’s Heal Now!
If you are going to survive this hell-on-earth experience and if you want to heal, you are going to have to grow as a father, brother, son, friend, and community member. If you retreat from the world to stew in your grief and anger, that is likely where you will remain. While this retreat is…
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Moving Forward: Cherish the Memories, Life is Short
Teach us to realize the brevity of life so that we may grow in wisdom. Psalm 90:12 NLT Good memories produce feelings of warmth and happiness, but those memories become painful when grieving the loss of a loved one. We long for the relationship to be restored, but it can never be. Sometimes the pain…
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