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Selflessness
One of our brothers, Randy Ritua, recently posted a story initially posted by Teresa Presgraves Jones about her father suddenly losing his wife of 55 years. Like all of us, he was shattered. Shortly after her funeral, late one night, he insisted his grown kids take him to the cemetery immediately. Reluctantly they agreed. It…
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Accepting Old Age
My wife died in October 2010. I was nearly 70 years old, and her passing plunged me into grief and confusion. We had been married almost 40 years, and our marriage had been a good one. In the first year after her passing, I longed for female companionship, but my wife had wisely warned me…
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Widower – Noun or Verb?
Please permit me to use a little literary license with the word Widower strict grammarians and all English teachers would call a noun. It’s a proper name and, as such, falls under the noun category. I, however, want to play with the word and change it into a verb. By making it an action word,…
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Perspective
Our journey after loss consists of many trials, revelations, and missteps throughout life’s evolution. Once the reality of our new life settles in, perspective becomes our great friend. Fifteen years after Dana died, I lost my high-powered grocery executive career, which led to eventual financial ruin. For so many years, my job was my identity.…
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The Billiard Table
So many of us have commented on this site about how often triggers hijack us. I’m no different in that regard. I get hit up all the time. Having lived 39 years in the same neighborhood and township, I am constantly reminded of my life with my beloved Jan almost everywhere I go. I am…
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Avoiding Downward Spirals
Grief can pummel you physically, emotionally, and mentally in ways that make you feel you will never be able to live a normal life again. Physical pain can drive you to your knees. At times you may sit on the stairs and sob. Mentally, you can find yourself incapable of processing the simplest thoughts. Often,…
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KNOW A WIDOWER? – YOU BETTER KEEP AN EYE ON HIM
Widowers are vulnerable. Very vulnerable! In fact, according to research by Dr. Justin Denney of Washington State University, widowed men have 1.6 to 2.0 times the risk of death by suicide compared to otherwise similar married men, and they will do so within two years of their wife’s death. Still, another research suggests the rate…
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Bereavement Scams
We have all heard about scams. Even the smartest and sharpest among us can fall victim to a scam. I have personally known several close friends who you would think knew better but ended up in a scam situation. I honestly saw red flags when they shared information about their “new love interest.” It all…
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Learning From Each Other
All widowers… you, me, and the guy down the street… all have something in common. We are going, or have gone, through hell on earth. We may have different experiences on this journey, but we also have many commonalities, especially if we were fortunate enough to have a good and loving marriage. We can support…
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Life Is Best When Lived In Pencil – Part 4
I just got home from church. A wonderful message was presented by the minister today centered on the fact that even if life doesn’t take you where you think it will, you’ll still be OK. He told us that life can still be good even when our plans get changed, our dreams get dashed and…
Widowers Support Network 